Cardboard Citizens: Newspaper Theatre, January 2019

Cardboard Citizens: Newspaper Theatre, January 2019


[Richard] Newsflash, newsflash, come again
Prince Phillip in a car crash Once a driver, always a driver
Newsflash, newsflash, come again Newspaper Theatre is a group of people that
get together Reflect about current events and things that
are happening in the paper And put our own spin and interpretation on
that. [Errol] We look at the contradictions, we
look at the comparisons And we bring the news to life “Londoners are taking so much cocaine That the Class A drug can be found in the
Thames With separate research showing that it makes eels hyperactive” The headline: January 20th, 2019
Duke back behind the wheel as… “Unhappy” crash victim speaks out
Page Twenty-Three! Who should win the Oscars?
Women on the march! Hols from £9.50
Last chance to start collecting! Token 16 – see page 28
World Exclusive! [singing] World Exclusive!
Ant McPartlin says his former PA and new love Ann-Marie Corbett saved his life by helping him beat Alcohol dependency, while he cut contact with his ex-wife Lisa Armstrong [singing] Ooooh, my whole world came crashing down My drink-drive crash was the worst day of my life Observer, 20th January 2019 Daily Mail, January 21st 2019
The speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow –
Defiant John Bercow – is considering –
is threatening to ditch… Would you pay £30,000 for a walk-in wardrobe? For as long as I can remember I wanted a space like this – what woman wouldn’t? To have a dedicated place for my clothes is
a dream come true! Headline: I’m lucky to be alive and the Duke
hasn’t said sorry Says mother who broke her wrist in crash
Yesterday, she said Ms Morrison, 81, who has served the Queen since the Sixties, left a voicemail message: “Hello? I’m ringing from Sandringham House.
The Queen has asked me to telephone you To pass on her warmest good wishes following
the accident.” Five basic exercises: the daily fitness regimen favoured by Prince Phillip and Princes Charles and William And this is the eel who gathered his friends up from the ends And these are the eels getting caned in the Thames This, ladies and gentlemen… This is the news [Richard toasting] Look Instagram, no hands!
Look Instagram, no hands! Look Instagram, no hands!
Look Instagram, no hands! Look Instagram, no hands!
Look Instagram, no hands! Prince got no seatbelt on…
[Richard toasting] Well done, give yourself a round of applause!
[Applause]

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