Dirty Talk – SNL

Dirty Talk – SNL


>>>HEY, BABY.
LOOKING GOOD.>>THANKS.
WELL, GOODNIGHT.>>WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, BABY, IT’S
SATURDAY.>>OH, YEAH.
SEX NIGHT. I’M JAZZED TO DO IT.
LET’S START.>>OH, WAIT, WAIT.
I THOUGHT WE COULD MIX IT UP A LITTLE TONIGHT, TRYING DIRTY
TALK. SAYING THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T SAY.
>>ALL RIGHT.>>YEAH, YOU’RE LIKE A LITTLE
SLUT, HUH?>>HMM, THAT’S SO RETARDED.
>>WHAT? WHAT?
DON’T SAY THE R-WORD, THOUGH. BECAUSE THAT’S REALLY OFFENSIVE.
>>DEPENDS HOW YOU USE IT, I GUESS.
>>IT’S KIND OF BAD ANY WAY YOU USE IT, BABY.
LET’S JUST STAY AWAY FROM THAT. MAYBE TRY LIKE BEING A LITTLE
MEAN TO ME, YOU KNOW?>>HMM.
>>YEAH. COME ON, GIRL.
HURT ME.>>YOUR DAD’S DEAD.
>>WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU — BABY!
THAT WOUND’S STILL FRESH. I’M LIKE REALLY SAD NOW.
>>OH, MAN, I’M SORRY. ARE YOU SURE YOU DON’T WANT TO
DO IT THE NORMAL WAY? LAZY SIDEWAYS?
>>NO. I WANT TO TRY THIS, YOU KNOW?
I THINK WE COULD SPICE THINGS UP.
IT COULD BE GOOD FOR US, YOU KNOW.
HOW ABOUT YOU JUST, YOU KNOW, CALL ME A LITTLE BITCH OR
SOMETHING?>>OKAY, I LIKE THAT.
>>OH, I WANT YOU.>>YEAH, YOU DO, YOU LITTLE
BITCH.>>OH, YOU’RE SO MEAN TO ME.
>>BECAUSE YOU’RE MY LITTLE BROTHER, BITCH.
NOW SCRAM!>>WHAT?
WHAT?>>STAY OUT OF MY ROOM, DORK?
>>NO, BABY, DON’T BE MY SISTER. BECAUSE THAT TURNS ME OFF, YOU
KNOW?>>BUT YOU WERE SAYING “OH,
YEAH.”>>YEAH, THAT WAS BEFORE I KNEW
YOU HAD MADE US SIBLINGS. YOU KNOW, NO BIG TWISTS.
LET’S JUST — I’LL TAKE THE LEAD, ALL RIGHT?
>>YEAH RIGHT, DWEEB, MOM AND DAD PUT ME IN CHARGE.
>>BABY, THAT SCENARIO, WE’RE NOT DOING IT ANYMORE.
OKAY, I’LL TALK DIRTY TO YOU. IS THAT COOL?
OH, YOU LITTLE FREAK.>>YES, I’M THE ELEPHANT MAN.
>>NO, NO, NOT THE ELEPHANT MAN. IT’S NOT — THAT’S NOT SEXY.
THAT’S LIKE REALLY SAD. YOU KNOW, IT’S — HE HAD A SAD
LIFE. AND THE IMAGE IN MY HEAD IS LIKE
THE WORST POSSIBLE THING FOR SEX, YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW? BUT CLEARLY, YOU WANT TO ROLE
PLAY, SO HOW ABOUT, UM, HOW ABOUT I’M A COP?
AND YOU’RE A CRIMINAL.>>OH, SOUNDS NAUGHTY.
>>YEAH. YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHY I PULLED YOU OVER?>>BECAUSE I KILLED MY MOM.
>>NO, NO, NO. NO, YOU DIDN’T MURDER ANYONE.
>>YEAH, I DID. SHE’S IN THE TRUNK.
>>NO, NO, NO. DIFFERENT CRIME, OKAY?
YOU’RE NOT A MURDERER, OKAY? YOU’RE A DIFFERENT CRIMINAL,
BABY, YOU’RE LIKE HANDS UP, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST.
>>BUT THE GENERAL PUDDING POPS —
>>NO, DON’T BE BILL COSBY. DON’T EVER BE BILL COSBY IN THE
BEDROOM. DON’T — YOU KNOW WHAT?
FORGET IT. IT’S FINE.
LET’S JUST WATCH TV.>>OH, THAT’S IT?
MAN, YOU’RE SUCH A BITCH SOMETIMES.
>>YEAH, I LIKE THAT.>>HEY, HEY, HEY!
>>NO, DON’T BE FAT ALBERT! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

100 thoughts on “Dirty Talk – SNL

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  2. Melissa is funny but I think she's limited as far as impressions go and comedic performance as well. Her stand-up isn't funny at all. If she could be Gwen Stefani and Owen Wilson forever she'll be around a long time.

  3. I'm a person with Autism. THANK YOU SO MUCH SNL FOR STATING THAT THE R-WORD IS OFFENSIVE. Mad appreciate it!

  4. I love Melissa.. She's so talented…but I'm thinking this skit is not far off from reality… It would be really freaky to be making love to her and suddenly its Owen Wilson….Woww! 😁

  5. Misspent youth spins off as a (not-so) cautionary tall tale

    In any tourist town, locals are quick to explain how to avoid the traffic-clogged visitor areas. In Down the Lane, first-time author Paul Lafferty draws a dark and detailed map of areas of Niagara Falls that local and visitor alike should well avoid.

    After university, clever protagonist “Doc” avoids his full potential by following the easy money of the socially complex and near-criminal lifestyle of the strip club DJ. An odd eco-system of strippers and easy sex, street drugs and a physically punishing party life, are all just delay tactic in an inevitable reckoning with the absurd power dynamic that underwrites the enterprise: bikers.

    What a great read! Lafferty writes in an easy and relatable style that is fascinating but familiar, yet you'll only admit to one. I can’t tell if this is a confessional, or an apology, a love story or a self-inflicted victim impact statement. This ultra-honest lifestyle exposé is obviously an extraordinary embellishment… or is it.

  6. The word retarded isn't bad… its a literal term for someone who is retarded… which retardation is a medical condition. The whole politically correct mentality has turned a harmless word no one was upset by in the first place into some kind of wildly offensive term.

  7. why are the snl sketches so terrible acted… ya i know they might be live and improvised but they always seem to be looking to the sides like their reading lines even tho it's be like 3 sentences or talk straight to the camera when not needed. Like now he's in bed with her talking to her but not looking at her but to the side, and they laugh as they say lines all the time…

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