FAT DISNEY PRINCESS DASH – GTA 5 Gameplay

FAT DISNEY PRINCESS DASH – GTA 5 Gameplay


>>Bruce: Oh, wow.
>>Adam: So, the Genie was, uh… He’s, uh, nanobots, or somethin’? [Bruce laughs]
>>James: No. The Genie is a
magical being. He’s existent through–>>Bruce: It doesn’t make any sense.>>Lawrence [whispering]: Fucking shit…
>>Bruce: You can’t free a genie, take away
his powers, and then he still has his powers.>>James: You don’t take away his powers! They just FREED him! That’s what I’m saying!>>Bruce: Well, why would they ever FREE him then?>>James: You take the collar off a dog, it’s still a dog!>>Bruce: No… The Genie’s not a dog.>>James: He’s a genie.>>Bruce: Right! Exactly!>>Lawrence: God..
>>Bruce: But when you take the fuckin’ off the Genie, he’s not a genie anymore!>>Lawrence: God damn it, Rockstar.
>>James: Yes. He is.>>Bruce: Genies are not dogs.>>James: And it’s not the collar. It’s his wristbands. THAT’S what keeps him contained.
>>Bruce: Oh, yeah. You’re right. Yeah, you’re–>>Elyse: Ok. Let me ask you
with the Little Mermaid. If they took her legs-
>>Adam: I saw the sequel.>>James: Yeah.
>>Elyse: Is she still a mermaid?>>Adam: But she gained a vag.>>Bruce: They took her legs?
>>James [laughing]: That’s true. ‘Cause she got the vag.>>Elyse: -without fins.
>>James: And it’s because she got-
she got vag, and the vag smells like fish.>>Elyse: Oh…>>James: All kinds of
Easter Eggs they hide in those Disney videos.
>>Adam: There are. It’s true.
>>Bruce: That sound’s awesome!>>James: Did you know it says “sex”.. in the sky.. when Aladdin is fucking.. Jasmine in the ass?>>Bruce: Did you come up with that one on your own? Or did somebody tell you?>>James: Walt Disney came up with it. He told me.>>Lawrence: Nice.
[Bruce laughs]>>Bruce: Walt Disney?! [♪♪]
>>James: He was like, “I love tits!”.
>>Bruce: “And I hate Jews!” [♪♪]
>>James: “And I hate Jews. FREEZE ME!” [all laughing]
>>James [laughing]: He cuts his
own head off with a saw. “Aughghghgh!” [sawing sounds]
>>Adam: “I’m coming for you, Eva Braun!”>>James [laughing]: He’s gonna fuck Hitler’s wife??>>Adam: He left for her!
>>Bruce: Eva Braun’s been dead for fifteen years.>>Adam: Hey, what’re we doing today, Lawrence?>>Lawrence: We’re doing Belly Grinding racing. Remember awhile ago we did Quad Bike Grinding?>>Bruce: Yeah.
>>James: No.>>Lawrence: Now we’re going to do
Super Car grinding. So grind.>>Adam & James: Ok.>>Lawrence: Get ready to grind!>>James: Is this a new… car? A new vehicle?>>Bruce: It does look like a new car.>>James: Way too soon, Adam! Way to soon!
[Bruce & Lawrence groan]>>Adam: Way too soon. I’m sorry.
>>Bruce: Aw, c’mon…>>Bruce: Hey, there’s water all over the track.
>>James: Yeah, it’s all wet!
>>Adam: It’s kinda slow!>>James: Don’t get knocked off!>>Adam: You ASS!!>>Bruce: You’re done. [laughs]>>Adam: Well, thanks for watching, everyone.
>>Lawrence: Well.. The race is over.>>Bruce [laughing]: Right as gameplay to starts off,
>>James: Anyways.. So Aladdin.. [Adam laughs]
>>Bruce: immediately, knocked off.
>>Lawrence: Last place.>>Lawrence: Oh, look at that.
>>Bruce: You have to fight for 1st, man!>>Lawrence: Don’t know if you remember that.
>>Bruce: They’re not gonna give it to you. They hate you!>>Adam: I know.>>Bruce: The online
community HATES us. You know that.>>James: Alright. Use the speed here
to whip yourself around this corner.>>Adam: Uh-huh.
>>James: Schwoom!>>Lawrence: Waa-cha!
>>Bruce: It’s like Apollo- It’s like Apollo 13.>>Adam: I can do that.
>>James: Remember Gary Sinise?>>Adam: They left him behind?>>Bruce: You’re gonna climb
all the way to 1st. I can feel it.>>Lawrence: Here we go. Still doing it. Nice recover.
>>Bruce: Alright. Still in last place.>>Lawrence: Just gotta drive back there a little bit.
>>Adam: Uhh…>>Adam: Ok…
>>Bruce: Oh…
>>Lawrence: You got this.>>Lawrence: Just drive down on the blue stuff.
>>Adam: Oh, that’s not water!>>James: That’s not where you’re supposed to go.
>>Lawrence: No. It tricked you.>>Bruce: Oh, you thought it was water, and it’s not!>>Adam: You thought it was too,
but you don’t want to admit it!>>Bruce [whispering loudly]: No, I didn’t.>>Bruce: That’s water!
>>James: Ahh! That’s real water!>>Lawrence: I was gonna say, we
should all pretend to be Disney Princesses, and then->>James: Fuck each other.
>>Lawrence: -we go on dates- And yes, see how- see how long it takes for us to fuck each other.>>James: Who do you think is the cutest Disney Prince?>>Adam: Jack Sparrow.>>Bruce: Disney Prince??>>Bruce [laughing]: “Jack Sparrow.”
>>James [laughing]: He said that without hesitation!>>Bruce: Damn! That was so fast!!>>Lawrence: -fucking huge.
>>Bruce: I was gonna say Michael J. Fox. [James clicks tongue]>>Adam & Bruce: ‘Atlantis’.>>James: Oh! ‘Atlantis’!
>>Bruce & Lawrence: There we go.>>Bruce: Yeah, you guys got it.
>>Adam: I was gonna say The ‘Frighteners’, but..>>Lawrence: Took me a second. Yeah.>>Bruce [laughing]: I don’t think that’s a Disney movie!>>Adam: It was Miramax! I’m pretty sure.
[James laughs]>>James: Mine’s- Mine’s the robot from ‘SpaceCamp’. [♪♪]
>>Jinx: How else would I take it?>>James: The movie ‘SpaceCamp’?
You haven’t seen the movie ‘SpaceCamp’?!
>>Adam: Nope. Never seen it.>>Bruce: No. Absolutely never seen it.
>>James: It’s so good!>>Bruce: That sounds so stupid.>>James: It’d b- Me, having gone to Space Camp, could really relate with the characters.
[Bruce chuckles]>>Bruce: I know. You wanna talk
about how you went to Space Camp. Who cares?>>Adam: What about, uh.. What about The Rock
from Escape from Witch Mountain?>>Lawrence: Uh-oh!
>>James: Oh! That’s a good one, too!>>Bruce: That is a really good answer.
What about the ‘Sharkboy and Lavagirl’? [all laugh]>>James: That’s also a good answer.
>>Lawrence: Both of them?>>James: All of ’em are good.
>>Lawrence: Wouldn’t it just be Sharkboy? [Adam & Bruce laugh]
>>James: No. Lavagirl’s also a prince.>>Adam: I think all of this prince talk has gotten me hot.
>>James: Get it! Oh..>>Lawrence: Oh..
>>Bruce: Oh, you gotta go right down the trench, there!>>Lawrence: Yeah, where’s your-
>>Adam: Oh! I see.>>Lawrence: Where’s your
depth perception, there, Adam? Come on.>>Adam: Uh… Got it.
>>James: Boost!>>Lawrence: ZzzRRRmm.
>>James: Oh, cool angle!
>>Bruce: This is a Disney ride!>>Lawrence: Pzzzooo!
>>Bruce: Uh-oh. WHOOOA!>>James: You’re just on Space Mountain!>>Bruce: It’s like Autopia! [all laugh]>>Adam: Don’t go TOO fast! [Bruce laughs more]
>>Lawrence: Yeah.>>Bruce & Lawrence: OoooOOH!>>Bruce: Oh, man…
>>Adam: Dick. Move. Disney.>>Lawrence: You did NOT go too fast. I would be great, I think, to get sued by… some.. royalty.
>>James: Mm.>>Lawrence: From a country no one’s heard of.
>>James: Oh, that’s a good answe- OH!>>Lawrence: Ooh! Whoa!
>>Bruce: OH! ADAM OVERTAKES! OVERTAKES!!
[Adam laughs]>>Adam: Oh, that was pretty awesome.
>>Lawrence: Damn.
>>Bruce: Nice job!>>Adam: Errp! Nope! It’s cool.
>>Lawrence: Oh, a little too much.
>>Bruce: And you probably blew it. I knew it. [Adam laughs]
>>Lawrence: Just drive up the wall!
>>James: Um..>>Adam: Someone’s house!
>>James: I wanna get sued by Mark Wahlberg.>>Lawrence: Actually, no?
>>James: And he’d probably, like, at some point, like, come over to me, and say, like, “No hard feelings.”>>Lawrence: “Hey, man. You know, it’s just how it goes.”
>>James: “It’s just, I’m just protecting my brand.”>>Adam: Yeah. You stole his bit or something?>>Bruce: You know- You know
he is the REAL American hero, right?>>James: Oh, absolutely.
>>Lawrence: He really is.>>Bruce: He’s in every
single movie about American heroes.>>James: He represents the American Dream.>>Bruce: Left! Left!
>>Lawrence: Lef- Yeah, seriously. [Bruce laughs]
>>Lawrence: Where are you eyeballs at? Oh! Not there.>>Bruce: Um, he was in- he’s in ‘Patriot’s Day’s. He’s in ‘Transformers’.>>James: He owns a burger joint.>>Bruce: He was- What else does he do?>>James: Uh.. He went to jail.>>Bruce: He did jail.
>>James: For, like, blinding a… Asian minority.>>Lawrence: A-Uh… That one
music video where he has RIGHTEOUS abs.>>Bruce: New Kids on the Block! [Adam scoffs]
>>Lawrence: Yeah.
>>James: Good Vibrations [♪ Good Vibrations – Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
– no sell out. [♪ Good Vibrations – Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
If you ain’t in it to win it, [♪ Good Vibrations – Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
Then get the hell ou->>Bruce: And the best mov- The best movie of all: ‘Pain & Gain’.>>James: ‘Pain & Gain’!>>Bruce: He was in ‘Pain & Gain’.>>James: That’s- That movie
sh-could’ve been called the American Dream. [Bruce laughs]
>>Adam [sarcastic]: Thank you!
>>James: That’s what it’s all about.>>Lawrence: -‘ve been the American Dream, yeah.>>Bruce: Murder and steroids?>>Adam & James: Yeah!>>Lawrence: Ok, ok, two scenerios:
>>Bruce: Uh-huh.>>Lawrence: You’re going on a date with Ariel. Can’t talk, has human legs, and a human vagina.>>Adam: I’d fuck it.>>Lawrence: Going on a date with Mark Wahlberg… Who do you think you could fuck in the bathroom first?>>James: Umm…
>>Adam: Can Ariel fight back? [Bruce laughs]
>>James: Oh, boy…
>>Lawrence: I mean, she’s pretty- she’s pretty thin.>>Bruce [laughing]: Jeez!>>Lawrence: So, here’s the problem: Uh… You take Ariel into
Islands Burger Restaurant, or whatever.>>James: Yeah.>>Lawrence: You’re gettin’ your- You’re gettin’-
>>Adam: Her FAVORITE. “See all the BMX stuff on the wall?”>>James: “No, those fries aren’t
bottomless, Ariel, so slow down.”
>>Lawrence: “Yeah, watch-” [Bruce laughs]
>>Adam: “Yeah. They got rid of that!”>>Bruce: “You look like you
might be gaining a little bit, uh…”
>>Lawrence: “Oh boy, you’re attacking that, huh?”>>Bruce: “So, you know what I’m sayin’?”>>James: “You just got those legs.
Let’s not ruin ’em now.” [Bruce & Lawrence laugh] [Lawrence popping]
>>Adam: She- She squats on the table.. Eggs.. everywhere.
>>James: It’d be eggs. [Bruce laughs]
>>Adam: And then you-
[Lawrence slurps]>>Bruce: This is all in Islands?!
[Adam yelling]
[fart sounds] [Bruce laughing]
>>Lawrence: “I love you, baby.” [spits]>>Adam: Two days later, you have.. babies.
[Lawrence spitting]>>Bruce: Wow..
>>Adam: Yeah.>>Bruce: You have a million babies!
>>Adam: Yeah, yeah.>>Bruce: Usually fish have a million babies.>>Adam: Oh! And then-
And then she sues you for alimony.>>Lawrence: Well, yeah.
>>Bruce: Oh, boy. That’s->>Adam: And then she gets fat. She gets- She weighs like 102 lbs.>>Bruce: She already got- was WAY fat. You know that. Ariel’s so FAT in that movie. There are no Disney Princesses
that are not fat, by the way. [James laughs] They’re ALL fat!>>James: If you were Beast, in ‘Beauty and the Beast’,
>>Lawrence: I sit and make pig noises at the TV.>>James: Would you- Would you ask-
>>Lawerence: “SOOIE!” [oinks]
[Bruce laughs]>>Lawrence: In the theater.
>>James: Would you be pissed when you kissed- when you kiss Belle. Right?
>>Lawrence: Yeah.>>James: Fat Belle.>>James: Um.. When you-
>>Bruce: Man, she’s so fat.
>>Lawrence [breathes out]: Jesus.>>James: When you kissed her, and
then you shrunk down to a regular-sized dick? ‘Cause he lost a lot of gain.>>Adam: Yeah.
>>Bruce: Oh, yeah!
>>Lawrence: Yeah, yeah. You’re right.>>James: He was fuckin’ jacked as the Beast.
>>Bruce: Oh, shit, he was jacked!
>>Adam: Right.>>James: Would be like, “WHAT THE FUCK?” [Bruce laughs]
>>Lawrence: Think about- Think about how Belle felt. She was gonna.. get her plumbing.. torn apart by Beast!
>>Bruce [whispers]: Nice! [Bruce & James laugh]
>>Adam: Yeah.>>Lawrence: And then he shrunk
down to normal dick size.>>Adam: Then she lost again.
>>Bruce: Ohh, man..>>Lawrence: “Fuck it! Why am I here, eating all this pie-,”
>>Adam: Yeah. [Bruce & James laugh]
>>Lawrence: “-if I’m not going to get..
ripped in half by a giant beast cock?” [Bruce & James laugh more]>>Lawrence: And then she just keeps eating.>>Bruce: Yeah. Huh, wow.
>>Adam: Yeah. Teacups just watch.>>Lawrence: “When are we ever gonna have our cake?!”
>>James: “RIP ME IN HALF!”>>Adam: What about, uh, what’s her face from, uh, the ‘Hercules’ movie?>>Bruce: She was supposed to
the realistic -this is not a joke- supposed to be the realistic Disney Princess.>>James: Really?
>>Lawrence: Is that why she was so bitchy?>>Bruce: Yeah. Because her hips were so wide. But she’s a little too FAT!>>Lawrence: Right. Dependant on a man.
>>James: It’s easy to criticize.. these, uh, these women.>>Bruce: Yeah.
>>James: But the dudes are little twig pussies.>>Adam & Bruce: Not Hercules!
>>Lawrence: Well, not Hercules! He was jacked!
What’re you talking about?>>Bruce: Hercules was jacked!>>James: He’s- He’s prett-
He’s the smallest version of Hercules I’ve ever seen.>>Lawrence: Prince Charming had a.. cool little cape.
>>Bruce: What about Beast?!>>James: Beast was big, but then he
shrunk down at the end, and then he wasn’t pissed off!!>>Lawrence: Yeah. What about Gaston?>>James: Gaston was the bad guy! He was the most jacked
person in the whole fucking thing!>>Bruce: Yeah, you’re right.>>James: And they’re like, “Oh, look at this bad guy!” I don’t think so! According to my eyes, he’s the cool guy! [Adam laughs]
>>Bruce: So equal time: Disney Princesses are fat, and the Princes are.. fucking lame!>>James: They’re lame!>>Bruce: And they’re.. WEAK, little pussies! [all laughing]>>Adam: “Fix it, Disney!”>>Bruce: I know! “Disney, fix it!”>>Adam: I wanna see Bruce go into a Disney meeting.>>Bruce [yelling]: “Hello, pussies!” “Why is Leia so FAT?!” [all laughing] “You see her in that Slave Leia outfit?! “She was FAT!” [all laughing]
>>James [laughing]: And you’re just shouting. [♪ Good Vibrations – Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
– no sell out. [♪ Good Vibrations – Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
If you ain’t in it to win it, [♪ Good Vibrations – Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
Then get the h->>Lawrence: I don’t think you’re gonna make it, James.>>James: Yeah… This guy fucked me.>>Lawrence [groaning]: Ooohh…>>Bruce: Ohh… That’ll help a little bit.>>Lawrence [groaning]: Ride it to the next one.
>>Bruce: There we go. One more. [all groaning]
>>Adam: Yeeeah. [all laughing]
>>James: Ohhh-heeey!>>Lawrence: Oh! Is he gonna make it?!>>Bruce: He might.
>>Adam: Yeah. Aw…>>James: And I miss the checkpoint.>>Adam: I think you automatically get that one.>>Adam: Nope!
>>James: Nope. YOU automatically
got it, ’cause you went far enough.>>Bruce: Oh, I see.
>>Lawrence: Again.>>James: GOD DAMN IT! [Adam & Lawrence laugh]
>>Bruce: Oh, no!>>Lawrence: Whoa.
>>Adam: Yay!
>>James: Oh, shit! We’re losing control!>>Bruce: Look at that!
>>James: I’M OUTTA HERE!>>Bruce: You breached like a dolphin!
[Adam laughs] [all laughing]
>>James: Oh, boy! Oh, boy!>>Bruce: Oh, this is it! This is it!
>>James: Recover! Recover!>>Lawrence: OH!
[James laughs]>>Bruce & Lawrence: YEAH!
>>Adam: Aw!>>Bruce: Nice job!>>Lawrence: So the ultimate Disney film- [sniffs]
>>Bruce: Yeah?>>Lawrence: -it’s gonna open with.. a bunch of dudes flexing and complimenting each other.>>Bruce & James: Yeah.
>>Adam: Yep.>>Lawrence: Cut to… women throwing up in the bathroom, like they should… [Adam & James laugh]
>>Bruce: Absolutely!>>Lawrence: And then coming out,
and REMOVING clothing.>>Adam: Right.
>>Bruce: Duh!>>Lawrence: So we can see their ribs.
>>Bruce: They’re already naked.
>>Adam: Because->>Adam: Well, here’s the thing, for too long
it’s been IMPLIED that they- they vomit. But we need to show little girls how to do it.>>Bruce: Yeah, we need to show them how to do it. That’s true. [Lawrence laughs]
>>Bruce: They either need to NOT eat, or throw up!>>James: Is this Hell?
>>Bruce: This is->>James: Are we in Hell?>>Adam: Just- Just a-
>>Lawrence: Woo!
>>Bruce: No!>>Adam: a quick- quick disclaimer.
>>Bruce: We’re in America!>>James: He’s still on me. He’s still near me.
>>Bruce: Oh, no! He’s gonna try- Don’t knock us off!>>Bruce: Sorry! We need to be-
>>James: Is that the Bat Mobile?!>>Adam: Doesn’t matter.
>>Lawrence: Let’s take him out! PIN HIM!>>Lawrence: OOH, RON! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! [Adam & Bruce laugh]>>Bruce: Oh! You got it!>>Adam: Cool. Good move?
>>Lawrence: Oo-aah! Got it!
>>Bruce: Wow, that was cool.>>Lawrence: Yeah, you can wall ride
this whole thing with…>>Bruce: Fuck it. Who cares?
>>Adam: He chooses not to.
>>Lawrence: Yeah. Nobody’s been able to do it either. [James yells]
>>Lawrence: Ooh!>>Bruce: Oh, you just- Oh, wow.
>>Lawrence: Yeah, plug it up.>>Adam: You’re gonna get hit from behind real good.
>>James: OWW!! [all laughing]
>>Bruce [laughing]: Oh, you fucked
that guy up real good!>>Lawrence: Plug it up so Ron can’t get through.
>>James: Hold on. I gotta wall ride. [Adam & Lawrence laughing]
>>Bruce: Oh, no.
>>James: OHH!!>>James: Wall ride!
>>Bruce: Oh, you’re fucking everybody up. [all laughing]
>>Adam [laughing]: He can’t fit!>>Bruce: Nobody can do it!>>James: AHH!
[Adam, Bruce, & Lawrence laughing]>>Adam: We need to get that wall ride.
>>Bruce: We need to get the wall ride, yeah.>>Adam: Yeah. You picked a car
that CAN’T fit through there.>>Bruce: There you go. That’s it.
>>Lawrence: There you go. Hup!>>Adam: That’s cool.
>>Lawrence: Ooh!>>Lawrence: And one more. Ah!
>>Adam: Wow. [all yell] [Adam laughs]
>>Bruce: Aw, no!
>>James: No, stay vertical!>>Lawrence: Oh, Ron was doing it now.>>Lawrence: Boy, Ron, you master troll.
>>Bruce: Stay vertical. You got- Oh, no, you can’t->>Bruce: you can’t get any traction. OH!
>>James: OHH! [James yelling]
>>Bruce: Oh, come on… All: Oh!
>>James: We’re back on!>>Adam: And you’re out.
>>Lawrence: Wait a minute. I think I thought of A Disney
woman who is NOT fat as shit. [James laughs]
>>Bruce: Who?>>Lawrence: Cruella de Vil.>>James: What? She’s- … She is kinda skinny. You’re right.>>Bruce: Well, hold on, no- But she’s old.>>Lawrence: She’s old, yes.
>>Adam: There it is.>>Bruce: Old people are already fat.
>>Lawrence: Yeah.>>James [laughing]: Did you see the guy fly out?
>>Bruce [laughing] No.>>James: What the fuck happened? [all exclaim]
>>James: Oh, fuck me!>>Bruce: What did you hit?!
>>Lawrence: Almost! Damn it!>>James: It’s invisible!
There’s- There’s an invisible thing!>>Bruce: This is a serious question,
is there anybody OLD that’s not fat? [Adam & James snicker]>>Adam: What?!>>Bruce: I’m serious. Every old person’s fat, right?>>James: Uh…
>>Adam: Well- Well, what constitutes as “old”?>>Bruce: Over 60.>>Adam: Helen Mirren.>>Lawrence: Tom Cruise. Wait- He’s fifty-somethin’.>>Bruce: Tom Cruise is, like, fifty-somethin’.>>Lawrence: Yeah.>>Bruce: And, also, he’s kinda fat.>>Lawrence: Um…
>>James: Dudes don’t count!>>Lawrence: Dolph Lundgren?
>>Bruce: Dudes don’t count. Only girls.>>James: Dudes can’t be fat!>>Bruce: Dudes cannot be fat.
>>Lawrence: Oh, sorry. Yeah, you’re right.
[Adam & James laughs]>>James: Dudes are, like, normal? [Adam & Bruce laugh]
>>James: And, like, chicks are fat. So, like, when a dude has a big, fat belly?>>Lawrence: That’s just a normal dude.
>>Bruce: That’s funny.>>Lawrence: That’s a normal, healthy dude.
>>James: That’s just- That’s just how guys look.
>>Bruce: That’s- That’s- That’s comedy!>>Bruce: They did it for comedy.
>>Adam & Lawrence: Yeah.>>James: But women- When women
don’t have huge boobs and a skinny waist..>>Lawrence: Oh, it’s fucking gross.
>>James: They’re fat.
>>Bruce: Right. Then they’re fat.>>Lawrence: What’s wrong with ’em?>>Bruce: And sometimes they are fat any- anyways. Even if they have ’em.>>Lawrence: You know what really frustrates me?
[Adam, Bruce, & James laugh] Is that we have the tools to fix this shit,
and yet there are still fat, ugly women walking around.>>Adam: Yeah! It’s called your index finger!>>Bruce [laughing]: Jeez!>>Lawrence: It’s like people getting the flu.
We have inoculations. Just take ’em!>>James: What did I hit?
>>Bruce: Yeah, that’s a good point.>>Lawrence: And we have-
>>Bruce: We have plastic surgery and liposuction.>>Lawrence: We can make-
>>Bruce: So FUCKIN’ DO IT!>>Lawrence: Yeah, we can make your titties HUGE! [Bruce laughs]
>>Lawrence: You just have to GO to the place, and let them cut you open, and shove shit inside of your body! Just do it! It’s not hard!>>Adam: The Princesses did it! You do it!>>Bruce: Yeah, come on, it’s easy!>>Adam: Be like Rey!>>James: There is invisible shit all over that course->>Bruce: Yeah, yeah. I don’t know what happened.
>>James: -that I kept hitting.>>Lawrence: Man, Rey better
get GIANT tits for Episode 8.>>James: They sh-
[all laugh]>>Elyse: [Adam, Bruce, & James laugh]>>Adam: What’s the, uh, the oral etiquette?>>Lawrence: Dudes just smell like-
>>James: What d’you mean? Brush your teeth.
>>Bruce: Oral etiquette?>>Bruce: We get the oral!
>>James & Lawrence: Yeah!>>Bruce: That’s the oral etiquette.
>>Adam: Oh.>>Adam: So you go first…>>James: Yep.
>>Bruce: What do you mean? Who goes first?>>Adam: Well, who g- who goes first?>>Bruce: There is no “first”.
>>James: Yeah.>>Bruce: We get it, and that’s it! [all laughing] [all laughing harder]>>Bruce [laughing]: Oh, my God… Oh, jeez…>>James: That was that.>>Bruce: That clip’s gonna
come back to haunt me in 30 years!
[Adam & Lawrence laugh]>>James: I already see the
thing with your quote with your face there. [all laughing]>>Bruce: Oh, gosh.>>Adam: Oh, wow.
>>James: Oh, I got tears in my eyes.
[Bruce laughs]>>Bruce: Lawrence, you’re doing really well!>>Lawrence: Thank you!>>James: He’s in 2nd.
>>Bruce: 2nd place!>>James: But he hasn’t gotten to the walls.>>James: The warped wall, or whatever.
>>Lawrence: Yeah, I haven’t gotten to the death wall. The- The- The phantom wall.>>Bruce: You’ll do it.>>Lawrence: I’ll do it.>>Bruce: You’ll get it.>>Lawrence: C’mon FilthyGrape.
[James breathes out]: Ok.>>Lawrence: We’re in a.. fuckin’.. F1 duel now.
>>Bruce: Oh, man.>>James: You gotta- You need your
speed, but not so much that you catch him!>>James: OH! He crashed!
>>Lawrence: FUCK YOU!>>Bruce: You got it!
>>Lawrence: Shit!>>Bruce: Oh, no. No, you helped him.>>Lawrence: Aw, I helped him!
>>James: Oh…>>Bruce: Oh, you’re not gonna- Or, he might not make it.>>Lawrence: FiltyGrape…>>Adam: Pull back on the stick!
>>Bruce: You’re not gonna make it.
>>James: Recover. Just recover. [Lawrence sighs]>>Adam: He didn’t do that on purpose, though.>>Lawrence: Fuck him.>>Bruce: That’s true.
>>Adam: Ouch!>>Bruce: But, fuck him, yeah. Who cares?
>>Lawrence: I don’t care.>>Lawrence: It’s still a race.
>>James: You’re gonna hit this guy now.>>Lawrence: STOP! Being bad! Ok, I think- [Bruce laughs]>>Lawrence: There we go. Ok.>>Adam: There we go.
>>Bruce: Nice.
>>Lawrence: Hup!>>Bruce: Equal time, though… We’re all kinda fat too.>>Lawrence: What?!
>>Bruce: Just-
>>Adam: Yeah.>>James: We’re not jacked enough!>>Bruce: No, we’re not jacked enough.
>>Adam: Could be better.>>Bruce: But!
>>Lawrence: I could see m->>Bruce: We are sexually
attractive, whereas most women are not.>>Lawrence: Oh, that’s true.
[all laugh]>>James: That’s very diplomatic
of you, Bruce, and I appreciate you now.
>>Adam: Yeah.>>Bruce: I’m trying to be unbiased.
>>James: Yeah.>>James: Straddling the line.
>>Adam: Yeah.>>James: Bipartisan! That’s what I love.
>>Adam: That’s always good. [Bruce laughing]
>>Lawrence: Don’t fuck it up. Don’t fuck it up. Hup!>>Bruce: That is true. That’s
one of the questions I’ve always asked. Is, like,
>>Lawrence: Hup!>>Adam: What?>>Bruce: Other dudes.. being, like,
“Man, dudes are so jacked, and women are so ugly”, and, like, “Man, they’re so fat”.
And I’m always like, “… Are you straight or gay?”>>Bruce: Like-
>>James: No. You’re hanging out with gay guys.>>Bruce: Yeah, they say- [laughs]
>>Adam: That’s Bruce talking to the mirror. [Bruce laughing]
>>James [laughing]: We’ve- We’ve been telling you that.>>James: You ALWAYS hang out-
Every time you introduce us to someone new,
>>Bruce: Ohh…
>>Lawrence: Oh!>>Bruce: I’m always in West
Hollywood, and THAT’S the problem.
>>Adam: Yeah.>>James: Yeah. It’s always a gay dude.
>>Adam: Yeah.>>Bruce: Oh. Ok. Alright.>>James: But those dudes are jacked!>>Adam: Mhmm. Yep!
>>Bruce: Yeah. I know!
>>Lawrence: Yeah, they are.>>Adam: They have.. a GOAL.
They k- They can see the finish line. And it’s.. some dude’s sweet cornhole. [Bruce & James laugh]
>>Lawrence: Yeah.>>Adam: Looks like a hairless, glazed donut.>>Lawrence: Man…>>Bruce: DAMN!
[Adam laughs] [James breathes out nose]>>Bruce: Why is it so big?!>>Adam [offhand]: Oh, it gets- it gets inflamed.
>>Lawrence: Why didn’t God ever
give women something they could shove into people?>>Adam: What?
>>James: Pbbt!>>Lawrence: They would enjoy sex a lot
more if they could penetrate somethin’.>>Bruce: 1st place, Lawrence! Yes!>>Lawrence: Take that, women. [James imitating horn]
[controller thumps on desk] [Bruce laughs]
[Lawrence’s hand slap]>>Adam: I wish cars could talk.>>Lawrence: Yeah, that’d be great.>>Bruce: They can!
Haven’t you ever seen Elon Musk’s car?>>James: No.>>Adam [robotic]: “Hello, Elon.” Yeah. “How’s SpaceX going?” “Just kidding. I know.”>>James: It’s a car.
>>Lawrence: It’s a cooler. [Bruce laughs]>>James: Way too high. OH, LAND IN IT!
>>Lawrence: WHOOOA!
>>Adam: Land in it!
>>Bruce: OH, WHOA!>>Adam: Pull the- Push up- Erp erp!
>>Bruce: Waste it! Waste it! Aw…>>James: First try. Every single FUCKIN’ time.
You should’ve stayed on the ramp! Bruce, is that you?!>>Bruce [chuckles]: It IS me!
>>Adam: Whoa.

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