-Now, I thought I’d share
some of my favorite #MyWeirdTeacher stories
from you guys. Here we go. The first one is
from @Steve-Shu. He says, “The day after
we turned in drafts of our term papers,
the professor wore all black to signify his
disappointment in our work.” [ Laughter and applause ] -He had to tell them, too. Wouldn’t figure that
one out for yourself. -I’m mourning the loss
of your grades, yeah. This one is from @JonBalun. He said, “My teacher moved
his left hand in circles as he erased the board
with his right hand so he would build
the muscles evenly.” [ Laughter and applause ] -Wax on, wax off. -Miyagi.
Miyagi, yeah. This one is from @tinagibala. She says, “My homeroom teacher
kept a list on the chalkboard of people who needed
prom dates.” -Aw.
[ Audience aws ] [ Applause ]
Oh. Tina? You and Gary.
-Derek’s been up here for — [ Light laughter ] For three weeks now.
So anyone wants — Anyone. You know anyone who wants
to go with Derek, or any — Do you have any pets at home
that could maybe go with Derek? Just so he doesn’t go alone. This one is from @leighlo-maria. She said, “My biology teacher
handed us back our graded homework.
Every paper was maroon. She apparently spilled
a bottle of red wine.” [ Laughter and applause ] -Yoinks! [ Pop ] -This one’s from @Corcorcoran2. He says, “If it was your
birthday, my teacher would draw a cake on the board and ask you
to blow out the candles. You just had to stand there
and blow on the chalkboard until he said
the candles went out.” [ Laughter and applause ] Not yet!
-Not yet! -Not yet, keep going.
[ Laughs ] -Not yet!
-[ Fake crying ] -Okay. Oh, they’re trick
candles, they’re back on again. What’s your problem, dude? -I’m in charge!
-[ Laughing ] Yeah. I’m the boss, get it? This one’s from @HBP-ALWAYS98. She says, “Whenever I ask my
teacher what we’re doing today, she says, ‘working hard
and suffering greatly, because life is pain.'” -Oh.
[ Applause ] Wow!
-[ Laughs ] This one’s from @mac-ken-cheese. -Oh, nice.
-I get it. Not bad.
Mac n’ cheese. -Mac n’ cheese.
-Mac Ken Cheese. -Nice one.
-That’s a nice one. -Yeah. -mac-ken-cheese. She says, “My chemistry teacher
had a taxidermied armadillo in the classroom.
For a while, it wore a party hat and it was called
The Partydillo.” [ Laughter ]
-Yeah! -Whoop whoop whoop! -Partydillo!
-Byeh, byeh, byeh, byeh! -Raise the roof, Derek! [ Laughter ] -The armadillo said that?
-Yeah. [ Laughter ] -This is from @RaskolnikovsAxe. -Ooh, deep. [ Light laughter ] A little crime and punishment. Derek. [ Light laughter ] -He says, “At the end
of a test period, our science teacher would
respond to our ‘one more sec, one more sec!’
with ‘no more secs!'” [ Laughter ] “No more secs
in this classroom!” [ Applause ] I’m talking to you, Derek. -Yeah. This last one’s
from @TheDonald-Stump. [ Light laughter ] He says, “My teacher would tell
us to work hard in math and science classes,
otherwise we’d end up as a gym teacher.
He was also the gym teacher.” -Oh!
-There you go. There are your
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