-Now I thought I’d share
some of my favorite “Why I Got Fired” stories
from you guys. This first one’s from
@Mishel0107. She says… [ Laughter, applause ] -[ Laughs ] Is that a vodka? -This one’s from @BarChefPro.
-BarChefPro? This person would know
what’s in a rum and coke. -He says… -Well…
[ Cheers and applause ] -Honesty — Honesty’s the best policy.
-Yeah. -[ Chuckles ] [ Slurred ] How many drunk days
are we allowed? -Yeah. [ Slurred ] Well,
they didn’t know how to make the rum and coke.
-[ Laughs ] Had some rum. -And Captain Morgan
beat the crap outta me. -[ Laughs ] [ Normally ] This one’s from
@virgogirl93. I wonder if she went to school
with my friend Mark Reeves. [ Laughter ] She says…
-I doubt it. [ Cheers and applause ]
-That’s right. It is worth it to get an
autograph from Ryan Reynolds. I love that dude. This one’s from @Hollyb32. She says… -Oh!
[ Cheers and applause ] -♪ The future is here ♪ ♪ The future is here ♪ -[ Laughs ]
-Uh… This one’s from
@MargoBe08471590. [ Laughter ]
It’s so catchy. Just rolls off the tongue.
-Rolls off the tongue. -Very easy to remember. She says… ♪♪ ♪ Give me the music ♪ [ Laughter ] -That was Zelma.
-It’s getting. It’s getting. -It’s getting.
-No. Would you like — Was that a different song?
-“I’ve Got the Power.” -Oh.
-That’s “I’ve Got the Power” you’re thinking of. -♪ Everybody d– ♪
How’s it go? -♪ Everybody dance now ♪ [ Vocalizing ] ♪♪ -♪ I’ve got the power ♪ ♪♪ -♪ He-e-e-e-ey ♪ ♪ I’ve got the power ♪ -♪ It’s getting, it’s getting,
it’s getting kinda hectic ♪ ♪ It’s getting, it’s getting,
it’s getting kinda hectic ♪ -Love.
-Getting kinda hectic? But then if you’re in Walmart,
you’re like, “Uh, can you, uh,
help me move this TV?” -Yeah.
-“Because it’s getting, it’s getting,
it’s getting kinda heavy. ♪ It’s getting, it’s getting,
it’s getting kinda heavy ♪ ♪ It’s getting, it’s getting,
it’s getting kinda heavy ♪ ♪ Everybody dance now ♪ ♪♪ [ Laughter ]
-Which one? -“Everybody dance now,”
and then she’s like, “Give me the music,” right?
-Uh-huh. -Then she’s like…?
-[ Vocalizing ] -[ Vocalizing ] ♪♪ -Right.
-Oh, yeah. That’s good. -♪ I’m lovin’ it ♪ [ Laughter ]
-No, no, no. That’s a different song.
-No? Different one? -This one’s from @kidatheart216.
-Aww. She says,
“I booked a hotel overseas so my boss could attend
a conference. It turned out it was a brothel.”
-[ Chuckles ] It’s like,
“Someone got a raise. Hey.” -[ Laughs ] [ Laughter ] -This one’s from patchworkgreg.
Ooh, that sounds scary. -Ooh, that sounds spicy. [ Laughter ] -He says… [ Cheers and applause ] Why don’t you just pick up…?
-Yeah, fake phone. -You just pick the phone
and fake it. He probably got charged for it.
-[ Laughs ] -Minutes — ah, whatever. This one’s from hweir222. He says… -Oh!
[ Applause ] I’m going to CVS.
-[ Imitates machine whirring ] This last one’s from
@MeganMary19. She says… There you go. Those are your
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