How I survived workplace bullying | Sherry Benson-Podolchuk | TEDxWinnipeg

How I survived workplace bullying | Sherry Benson-Podolchuk | TEDxWinnipeg

Translator: Leonardo Silva
Reviewer: Mile Živković Bullying is a slow and painful death, and probably someone you know
right now is suffering in silence. Bullies and leaders:
these are two things we choose to be. Why is this important to me? For 20 years, I was a victim
of workplace bullying and harassment, as a female officer in the RCMP, and having survived, I wanted to help
other people not suffer in silence. I want to share the tools
I created to survive because, remaining silent,
I become part of the problem. At my first detachment,
I dared to speak up against two officers who thought it was funny
to refer to me as “beaver,” and other humiliating names regarding
my body parts, female body parts, in the office, in public, and on the radio
so other detachments could hear. First thing I did was remember
what my parents said, “When kids are teasy, you just ignore it,
and they’ll stop, and it’ll go away.” Well, it didn’t. I tried that and, sadly,
eventually people in the community were referring to me
with those humiliating names. Second strategy was the direct approach. I went to each one and asked them
to please stop calling me these names. They laughed, it continued. And doing that was terrifying because
one of them was my direct supervisor, and as a result, he was in charge
of my performance assessment. Third thing I did was follow
the chain of command. I went to our boss,
our detachment commander, our leader, and asked him to please tell them
to stop calling me these names. He said, “Well, maybe
you enjoy the attention.” To make matters more complicated,
my partner, with 15 years of service, arrived at work drunk. Before I could drive him home,
he crashed his car into a parked car – I don’t know how
people do that, but they do – fled the scene, forced another
vehicle off the road, and just barely made it into his driveway
by the time I caught up to him. Later, he wanted and expected and assumed
I would provide a false statement as to the cause of the accident. So, you can imagine: what a choice. My ability to make ethical
and lawful decisions was challenged because I was being
bullied and intimidated. Ask yourself if you’ve ever said
anything that was offensive, or hurtful. Well, of course we have. None of us is perfect.
We all make mistakes. The idea is hopefully we learn
from those mistakes, we move on from those mistakes
and we don’t repeat them. The difference between a bully
and a mistake is with the intent. The bully wants to wound,
to have power over, to humiliate and to destroy. The bully sets the stage
for the target, for the victim, for anyone who’s considered “the other,” and that could be those who don’t fit
into the culture of the organization, those who look different in skin color,
as we’ve seen with the police shootings, those who dare to stand up and speak up
against the command in control. Basically, this could be any one of us, and if no one says anything, it escalates. Bullying can start out as teasing, and because no one says anything,
the violence escalates. One night in December, I came to work,
and I went to use the ladies washroom. I opened up the wooden stall door
and it fell off the wall, landed on my face, split my forehead,
and gave me a concussion. This was meant to be a “joke.” Three days later, when I returned, the maintenance officer said,
“Sherry, I have no idea what happened, but it looks like somebody
intentionally loosened the screws.” I went to get my gun belt
out of my gun locker, and I noticed it was open. In the inside, I had a blue gym bag. Inside the blue gym bag
was a dead prairie chicken, with blood dripping
all over my personal things. This was meant to be a “joke.” So, my fourth ineffective coping strategy
was to try and ride that bullying wave. My fifth strategy
was to change detachments. Yet, even after moving
from station to station, nothing significant changed. And as the years rolled along, bullying incident, harassment,
a shotgun training accident, disability, intimidation, threats, I realized that I was going to work
in a hostile work environment that was intimidating and isolating. Why do people stay?
Why did I stay, that long? Well, one: financial.
I needed the money. I was a single mom. And it was fear, my comfort zone of fear, those feelings of being empty, a sense of hopelessness, and helplessness. That voice in your head –
when you’re bullied enough, you start to think, “There must be
something wrong with me.” And this hopelessness comes from a sense
that nobody speaks up because people know what’s happening, they see it, they hear it,
but nobody does anything, and this silence allows and condones
the bullying to continue. And being strong did not mean
I was invincible. I still remember that January morning,
ten years ago, driving to work, and I realized, “Oh, my gosh! If I go to work one more day,
I’m going to die.” I didn’t know how I was going to die. I just knew I was going to die. That night, when I went to my bedroom,
I reached for my sleeping pills. I wasn’t thinking of tomorrow. I wasn’t thinking of what I would miss: birthdays, anniversaries,
coming school grad, traveling to Europe, standing underneath
that beautiful Eiffel Tower, touching the Wailing Wall, attending the United Nations
in New York City, years of love and laughter
and fun and giggling. The only thing I was thinking of
was falling asleep and feeling nothing. And out of the corner of my eye, there was
a small school photo of my daughter, and in that micro
split second of hesitation, that same voice said,
“I can’t do that to her.” You see, to be in that pit of despair and to climb out
to a place of empowerment, well, that came in stages. I had to begin to be curious
about why some people truly believe they have the right
to behave a certain way. I had to really be curious
about my own pattern, my own personal history, “It’s just something I need to change
because I can’t change them. The only thing I have
complete control over is me, how I deal with things, how I react.” And I created my toolkit,
my survival toolkit. Number one: document,
document, document! I began to document the incidents
of bullying way back in the beginning, and it was really
just a form of journaling. I wrote down dates, times, places;
who said what, when and where; the good, the bad and the ugly,
including my mistakes. And, if anything, it gave me
the power of my voice to say, “Hey, this is what’s happened to me.
This is what I tried to do. This is what didn’t work.
This is what did work.” And by journaling it,
it was the power of my voice, and in 2007, I thought, “You know what?
Maybe this could be a book. Maybe I could write something
and help somebody else, so they didn’t get
to that point of despair,” because not everybody gets
that sober second thought. I’m a very visual person. I had to write little stickies,
and I put them all around the house, in the bedroom; one right by my clock,
so when I turned off my alarm, it said, “Wake up every morning
with positive thoughts.” That’s a choice. I put them in the bathroom. My husband sometimes
would open up a drawer and there’d be a little sign
that says, “I love you.” I put them in the car
and I put them at work, so when I was getting dumped on
and felt like crap, I would open up the drawer
and take a little note, and then I would see
a little saying that says, “You are good, you are valued, you are important, and you count.” This might not work for everybody
in the audience, but this is nail polish, and it’s orange. In case you noticed,
that’s my favorite color. Every Thursday, either before I went
to work or after I went to work, I would paint my nails. If it was before work,
I would do it with my daughter. It was our little bit of bonding time. If it was after work,
then I would do it by myself, with a nice couple of tea. It was something little,
and it was very cheap, but it made feel strong about me, so I could go back
and face another week of abuse. I don’t know about you,
but exercise is important. When you are under a lot of stress, it helps you deal with stress,
gets rid of that negative energy. It helps you with your heart,
with you sleeping patterns, and it makes you feel strong, so that you don’t feel
as intimidated, physically. I got to know my policies, procedures,
rules and regulations inside and out, so that, when I was being abused,
I knew more about the information that the bully was trying
to play a trick on me, and I could prepare documents to say,
“No. This, this and this.” Of course, it made more of a target, but the point was I knew more information
about their system than they did. I went back to school. The first class I took was
Management Assertiveness Training, because when people are bullied
and abused, they lose their voice. And I’m not just talking about at work.
I’m talking about at home, too. They lose this sense
that they have the right to say no, they have the right to change their mind. And the most important relationship
is with ourselves, learning to value ourselves, developing boundaries on behaviors I will
accept and behaviors I will not accept, at home and at work. I continued to take classes
in conflict resolution. My university marks do not reflect
my 25% in high school chemistry. (Laughter) Thankfully! When my daughter saw
my transcript, she said, “Mom, you were a loser in high school!” (Laughter) Everything I learned at university
I practiced at home with my family, my friends, and specifically at work, learning the importance of effective
communication and listening skills, and the relationship
that has in any conflict, developing eye messages
when you’re dealing with a bully, or someone who is more confrontational. For example, “When you call me ‘beaver’
in the workplace, I feel humiliated. Please, stop.” “When you take me into your office, and you yell at me
for 20 minutes and call me stupid, I feel embarrassed. Please, stop.” So, you see, a bully is used
to a certain way of responding, and when you change that,
maybe that will change the dynamics. Either way, you’ve taken back your power, and maybe others will speak up. No, I’m not giving myself a haircut. This is detaching
from the bullying behavior: not engaging in the abusive pattern, understanding that everybody
has their own personal history and you have no idea what’s going on
with someone else’s life. The idea is to be curious, compassionate, and forgiving with yourself
as well as with others, but this is not an invitation
to be a doormat or a punching bag, either at home or at work; developing hobbies
that are fun, energetic, that make you feel good about you. I love to bake. I find that very relaxing,
pounding out the dough. So, you might have your own toolkit
that works for you, developing your own toolkit
that fits with who you are. The idea is that we really only see
a snapshot of people, and that, if we shift to curiosity
instead of judgments, then maybe we can get along
a little bit better. The idea is to never give up,
never give up. And it’s never too late
to expand your comfort zone. I’ve been trying to address this systemic
problem of bullying since 1998, and it was my “mission to the Moon,” in 2013, when I was asked to be part
of the Senate Committee on how to change the culture of the RCMP. I was also asked to provide input on what it is like for victims, the long-term impact
for victims of bullying and harassment. And it was my mission to the Moon
to be part of it, and to see that 75% of my words
were implemented into the final recommendations
that were submitted to the government. We are who we are
from our life experiences. I am still the kind of person
who likes to hide in the closet, and jump out and scare my husband, and then giggle like a five-year-old. And notice that the big teeth –
the big teeth – there’s no similarity there. (Laughter) Having a positive attitude
is very powerful, because that’s the one thing
we have complete control over and it gives us resilience in life. No matter where you are,
no matter where you come from, everybody deserves to have a safe
and healthy workplace. If you think one voice,
your voice, doesn’t count – it does! Mother Teresa said,
“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the river
and create ripples.” What do you see in your kit?
How would you make your own toolkit? You probably already have some tools. The idea is to be creative. This helps your children as well. Be a leader because, really,
it all begins with you. Thank you. (Applause)

100 thoughts on “How I survived workplace bullying | Sherry Benson-Podolchuk | TEDxWinnipeg

  1. I'm an older woman and myself and classmates are experiecing bullying from my professor. I'm also being bullied by another student in class and the teacher knows about it. Funny part is (not funny) this is an interpersonal communication class. I'll be going to the dean this week. I just don't want to go to this class. I feel depressed and sick to my stomach.

  2. Currently going through bullying at my work Place. Its my luck that are only a few weeks left before i change to a new work Place. I Know the feeling so good that you are Scared to Go to work and thinking you wont make it through the day.This helps me so much Right now! Thank you!

  3. Thank you . I am being bullied at my work. I am the youngest in the workplace . But my position is higher than others. I dont know what to do when they always have critisms in my work

  4. I was in a bullied at work by a supervisor while I was getting my masters degree and one day my bully supervisor got demoted and I became her supervisor I just love karma

  5. I’m sorry but it appears that she was a pushover and she allowed people to push her over. When low level minded people smell weakness they attack.

  6. Coming back to this video a year later after the worst bullying experience I've had at work. Now I have a new job and am still being bullied but much stronger. I made a promise to myself I wouldn't quit or go down without a fight. I'm much more confident and believe in my abilities. Wish me luck. Great story and speech!

  7. Where were all the other men and women in these workplaces? Are there that many blind or cowards around? I just don't understand how a person can witness bullying and do nothing about it.

  8. OK she did make alot of beaver faces in this segment. I can see why they said it, but not really why they all would do it and with such cruelty. Mobb bullying. Weird. Narcissists are everywhere nowadays bc the work environments let this continue. This should be illegal… But it never will bc corporate has no value in it.

  9. fingernail polish & jogging… there aren't many other ideas better than that. glad you survived & thrive

  10. Workplace bullying is the worse and yes I have experienced it before in previous jobs?! Managers know about it and do nothing…coworkers sit and laugh with everyone else!!! My last job was horrible, I ended up getting fired, but it was the best thing ever! I’m not saying, I love my new job, now but it’s a paycheck!!! Hopefully, I will be in my dream job soon!

  11. This happened to me. I reported my employer to the inspector general and since it was a government grant it was de-funded. I ended up having the last laugh it was hysterical to see the look on their faces when a third party agency conducted an audit due to my reporting and found out they were stealing money from the government. I really enjoyed knowing that my honesty took food away from these crooks children's mouths and embarrassed the company. Could of went further and report other grants they had but chose not to do do it. My life has been much better since. Was able to watch the world cup last year and got my 100% veterans disability due to this incident and don't have to work anymore.

  12. Workplace bullying can cause victim psychological trauma. But bullying itself is very hard to be proved or caught. Those who have been titled with managers or other should really watch themselves and their working environment. Do harm things to others is very selfish. Wish god could see. ..

  13. I survived by NOT ignoring bullying… and went right to the heart of the matter…physically when I was younger and could get away with it…verbally when got older. Looked the bully right in the eye. I am not physical advantaged. I'm 5'1" and tiny. Don't know where this came from. This worked for me and I preached this to my two boys.

  14. If somebody at work puts a dead animal in with your personal things, go to your boss. If your boss doesn't do anything, go to the police. If the police don't do anything, you need to confront the bully.

  15. I was and felt so harassed by another employee in iUnited Nations that I felt obligated and pressured to date someone. I"m still in state of shock and feel harassed. I need therapy and counseling after that.and I just healed from 2013. I need more counseling after this. Fucken annoying! I lost my job because of this harassment several years ago. I was a journalist for reporting under Obama administratin and I have a feeling that Obama does nothing but harass coworkers and employees. I Felt unsafe and divided in this envornent when I worked for him. Very strange.

  16. I just started working at this insurance company and, it's a small group of 5 and it's 3 girls that make my life miserable, I feel like quitting and it's hard to go back there, I'm up at 2am dreading to work there… this has helped me. you don't think this could happen in a place of work. I haven't talked to my boss she won't believe me, she knows about the behavior and she turns the other way.

  17. Telling staff or making a point you hunt or have a legal licence to own a gun is a indirect threat. My sister sells beauty products and her managers have mentioned this to her on numerous occasions. It's irrelevant to work. My sister has survived at work Bulling in so many companies in Edmonton Alberta Canada!

  18. I think bullying is just a form of jealousy? Cause it's know other reason for another person to go out there way to hurt ? another person , Cause they suffer from I want to control you syndrome … do what I say or act the way I tell you to act or I'm going to bully you thats a controlling demons as long as you're doing what you supposed to do is no excuse… to try to sabotage anything of somebody else's

  19. Psychopaths set out for power positions, they have enough sense to be one level above criminals, but still have no ethics or morality. The 1% of our population and companies promote the bullies and punish the victims.

  20. That absolutely sucks people can be so rude and uncaring that sucks what if it happen to them. Keep ur head up! I think ur a great ? person I know I don’t know u personally but ur a great ? speaker good bad time date things that happen journal I love ur thinking

  21. a relative of mine was harassed at work by a male boss (he was also male). The girls in the office reported it.

  22. Ultimately, at the root of workplace bullying is weak management. Once management is notified of the problem, the bullying should abate or go away. If it does not, you have a weak manager.

  23. I am working with a bully. It is frustrating because I am a caring person. I feel like I could fix it if I just tried harder, but I know in my heart that the bully wants to destroy me. They can't because I am needed at work. It's still difficult to deal with the games and the conflict. Lucky for me, they take one to two vacation days a week. Eventually they will be gone. I am looking forward to that day.

  24. That really hit me:-
    -my comfort zone of fear (too used to less than acceptable behaviour from others towards ownself)
    -lost the voice
    -learning to set boundaries for behaviour.

    I wonder how to avoid aggressively shouting back at the person/being a madman?
    How to deal it if its family?
    What about strangers bullying you in a one-off chance encounter?

  25. I was bullied by my mother as a toddler and young child.
    Bullied by my sister in my teens.
    Bullied by my superior who is a pastor (never believed in those holy roles again)
    Bullied by some colleagues in a big company who could talk bad for 8hours nonstop about other people every day (omg). Eventually got backstabbed by them (reported me to the boss).
    Sometimes bullied by random people. Had a cyclist push past me and dislocated my shoulder, and was nearly run down by an impatient elderly driver the other day. (If hes so impatient, i can help him see his maker soon.) Its tough living as a victim, and frustrating emotionally and physically to challenge the bullying that comes our way. But we have to stand up against them.

  26. My boss at my work is stressed out so he's decided to vent on me.I absolutely hate the cute.I talked to the owner of the company and he's going to have a talk to him.he smokes weed so I told the boss.ive had enough….time to walk the plant

  27. 5:45 i made same experience in a company i was 8 Month in a department one guy tried to make mobbing, against me a lot of people see it, nobody said something, "silence", showed the guy that he can "continue" BUT suddenly i finished my contract, and now watch out for new job!, i never feel luckier in my life than i do now, and i feel good again. 6:30 you need to hear to your intuition to feel what is good for you, and what is not good for you, and take your intuition into account when it comes to make decisions!

  28. It s usually, colleagues who are close to the boss because they've been working together for long. A new hire will suffer bec the colleague who s close to the boss n who s proficient at work by now, ditches/bad mouth/criticize the new hire. Bullying ensues…

  29. i didn't like the way my boss talked to me and i was too afraid to ask her about it so i asked one of my shift leaders about how to handle the situation and she told me to just talk to her about it. i was going to wait until the next time i saw her at work to talk to her but before i could i later learned that the shift leader had already spoken to her about the situation which got me in trouble. i felt betrayed. later that day my boss pulled me aside and basically grilled me without letting me get a word in AGAIN and the supervisor i went to about the situation was talking and laughing with the other supervisors about the situation every time i came to work so, i quit. im not sure if that was the right thing to do but i refused to take anymore of it. i've suffered from bullying since i was in middle school and to be "bullied" at the age of 21 is kind of embarrassing. its affected my mental health to the point where i just feel like i wont ever be the same confident person i was before i started getting bullied. this still bothers me because i feel like i didn't get to tell my side of the story. i just wanted to be heard.

  30. I’m am going threw this same issue currently at work so badly to the point im soon gonna finish up my course and put my notice in I am continually ignoring it and expressing my feelings to my husband and father and mom which is a good help and support team for me but this bullying is driving me nuts every time I wake up for work I wake up with on going headaches knowing what I have to face at wrk crying inside but staying strong on the outside facing another day of abuse at work praying in my head to God for help ????this is really not cool I hope it all stops soon for me and I can’t wait to start my new profession and school be over so I can leave my family tells me just be patient I only have 4 to 6 weeks left of my program? I pray for anyone whom is going threw such issues like me ik how u feel and what ur going threw but it all be over soon for us all with such hardship and struggle member God only put u threw what u can handle he give his strongest battles to his strongest children…Ameen all plz have a blessful day and remember he loves us all no matter what????❤️

  31. Try being a substitute teacher. There are a lot of ways to make a person feel like they're nothing. Kids can be really hurtful.

  32. I am a Registered Nurse and it seems like almost every job I've been at, there's been bullying. My experience is that even when you report it; NOTHING gets done to the bullying. So, you're left with dealing with it or moving on. All the jobs say they have a zero tolerance; but that is simply NOT the truth. I've put up with it because as a single mom you're left with NO choice. I am went back to direct patient care only to get bullied by the trainer training me. She is the WORST. Would say negative things about every patient, about management, would make jokes about every one and I was getting dumped on. While I should have been training; she was outside smoking. I got soooo sick that someone came in with a bad cough and I got the FLU. I got fired for getting sick. Meanwhile, she's still there. Even though I sent them a document of all the bullying that went on. They basically said 'since I didn't have proof', it didn't happen. Here I am facing foreclosure and I'm in a dark hole thinking…. what is WRONG with me to make me such a target?!

  33. So…Take classes to help you learn how to think pathologically so you can reason with an abusive person. Got it ?

  34. Im doing my professional practices rn, im on my third week there, 2 other girl interns laugh at me the y even point me out with their fingers and laugh, if I speak, if a make a question, if I answer the Phone, if I dont know something about a certain area from the company, im losing the little confidence I had.

  35. You only glanced over the abuse part of your conflict. Abuse is when a person of power over you (your boss) bullies you.
    It is much more crippling then dealing with a bully. It seems in your case the bullying expanded into abuse.

  36. This is pretty bad. I have never heard of bullying so disturbing in my life. I quit an airline because I was being bullied and because my ethnicity and my age are not obvious. No one cared. I did not want to fight back because surely that would put me on the no-fly list. I quit teaching school after 20 years for the same reasons . They blamed me in spite of the fact that I had glowing reviews. When I submitted my resignation, the principal said, "no, I will fire you. at that point I had nothing to lose so I told her she was a human rights atrocity! Hey I felt better.

    It's not worth the trouble in my mind because I'm working through a tragic death in the family and all I want to do is get out of the way.

    I appreciate all of the tips you offer. One day when I'm better and less shaky, I will go back and try again.

  37. Guys if you're getting beaten up by life stop trying to handle it yourselves. You've ended up in a pit because you've been trying to be a little god of your own life. Go to Jesus in prayer and ask for help.
    Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30)

  38. I have been verbally bullied for the past 7 months in perking elmer llantrisant south wales uk.i reacted and stood up to the employee they sacked him as he was a temp now they want to stich me up for standing up for myself i am a full time employee.

  39. I've worked with people I absolutely couldn't stand but I wouldn't want to cause them pain. Why can't people just keep their mouth shut.

  40. Shes right this behavior is unacceptable. Im being workplace mobbed by a bunch of gossiping women who run around badmouthing people and now have started in on me..They started heckling me when I go to the bathroom, get up from my desk and when they walk behind me.. Down the hall when they see me they look at me and laugh. I dont even talk to them and they started in on me. Unfortunately HR engages in the same behavior of gossiping but I had enough and told HR to move me off the floor. I may get fired next week because HR called me in for an "update" and god knows what excuse these women have made to warrant their bullying but I refuse to sit on that floor again because Im tired of being heckled and bullied. One bully that sits beside me seems really unstable and Im scared of her. I dont even talk to any of these people I just sit at my desk with headpns or move to conference rooms because they are also very noisy.

  41. Bullies are born that way. These creatures are just animals. They are genetic refuse that only look like a human being. Look up on behavioral genetics … Why doesn't anyone talk about that?

  42. She is a nice-looking woman, with an absolutely normal body in a good shape considering her age. How on Earth anybody could call her Beaver and make harassment from that?!!

  43. I stood up against a new employee coming in rude, bullish, and condescending and I ended up somehow being perceived as the bad guy. I don't get it.

  44. I remember dealing with bullies growing up. Not the students, the teachers. What do you do when the person that's supposed to give you guidance and advice about your problems is the problem? Anybody else dealt with that as a kid?

  45. I think whoever’s being bullied should add alittle God in it and trust him and let him be ur shield because the Bible says not to walk by sight but faith?? and love ur bully which results in u forgiving them and letting God take vengeance

  46. The sad reality on this is most bullied individuals end up fired or leaving the job. I had a boss who acknowledged my co-worker was a bully and used that description. That co-worker actively used info about my health to hurt me at work. Nothing was done. My complaints and the complaints/witness of others was ignored. One co-worker retired to get away. I left for another job. The third ended up fired. That bully still has a job with that unit, and torments others. I went on record to explain the stuff she did, did formal complaints, proved violated policy. In the end, no matter what you do, unless you have support from above and someone willing to do SOMETHING, nothing will happen. I was told multiple times that I needed to be more positive, that I needed to stop complaining and be grateful I had a job. I started that way, but after 5 years of bullying, I’m going to want to see change, and telling me to be quiet told me exactly what they were going to do about it. We even had, laugh of laughs, and anti-bullying policy beyond a hostile workplace policy. She was violating so much of it, and there was nothing I could do in the end. Had to go to the emergency room twice due to her, so glad I got out alive. Seriously, if you are in this type of environment, apply for jobs and get out if you can. Find a way. Love where I am working, miss the others I was working with, but my health is so much better now that I can expect to be safe when I go to work.

  47. This happened to me at a university. it got so bad that I left the university and had a nervous breakdown,,,,,,,

  48. Great lecture and agree with her experiences. However, very unfortunate reference to Mother Theresa by her considering the very subject of her Talk. Mother Theresa was a fraud and has been exposed for being incredibly sick and sadistic, ABUSIVE to those in her so called Care Homes and/or Hospitals! And, she completely Bullied the other Nuns and Nurses from providing actual Care and Comfort to any in their wards of mostly Babies, Children and the dying Elderly. She despised poorer people and believed that they deserved to be abused and suffer, much like the Holy Se!

  49. BULLYING it’s forever! Because they supported by staff, who scared to be on victim’s place. Managers used them. Most its behind your back and nonverbal.

    Poor performance!

  50. This is the single best video on bullying I've seen bc you're not talking about it from a vague, passive point of view – you've been THRU it. I appreciate your talk so much. I feel far less alone.

  51. Romans 12:19

    “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” 

    King James Version (KJV)

  52. I know what it means. The worst thing is that even if you tell it to the boss, he will respond "come on, it is just his way of being, nothing lavish". Sometimes they don't understand…

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