I’m Trans.

I’m Trans.

I’m not nervous to post this video, you’re nervous to post this video. Hey everyone So what do you think we should talk about in today’s video? Puppies? Pie? Bubble tea? Puzzles? Mulan? Robots? Succulents? Climate change? Waffles? Huh… I am really drawing a blank on what today’s post should cover. We could have a staring contest. BAH! I got you. I got you I got you I got you. I could tell you some of my favorite dad jokes. Why can’t cows be feet models? Cuz they lac-tose. I’m in a band. We call it 10-23 megabytes. Why? We haven’t had a gig yet. What do you call a silly joke about a mediocre golfer? Par-cheesy. Huh, you could watch me eat cereal for five minutes Nah, y’all read the title you know why you’re here. Lol, I’m trans. I like that coming out: real low-key, not a big deal “Lol I’m trans”. I wish that’s how every coming-out could be. “Lol, I’m bi.” “Lol, I enjoy gay sex.” Just, eh. So, surprise! Some of you are like, “duh. Is this an announcement? You talk about being genderqueer all the time, of course you’re trans.” I like you guys! I guess it’s an announcement because I’ve never said it before. I’ve never called myself “trans” or owned that identity online. Why? Because I have been scared shitless. There are so many people out there, vocal people, frightening aggressive obsessed people, who hate when nonbinary folks call themselves trans. And I mean HATE. Some even go so far as making entire channels dedicated to “the cause”. They’ve decided that this is the hill they want to die on. Unfortunately, I’ve been letting these folks influence me for a long time now They are an impressively intimidating group, and I ended up internalizing so much of the anti-NB propaganda they sent my way. This is the truth about why I recently took a break from YouTube. I didn’t feel like I could be myself cuz I wasn’t trans enough. Transitioning, legally changing my name, altering my body, switching my pronouns… These things all felt off-limits for me. Cuz that’s only what binary trans people do. And us nonbinary snowflakes better stay in our lane lest we be DESTROYED I thought if I tried to make any public changes to make myself happy then certain people would see that as me trying to be trans and they would tear me down. Because I am a ridiculously sensitive person that sounded like a literal nightmare, to me. Telling you now: I don’t have the coping skills to handle being the next SJW meme. Unconsciously, I think I decided, “it’s all right. I mean, I’m kind of doing okay now. I’m not like, miserable, or anything. Mostly. Whatever. I’ll just hang out. Keep flying under people’s radar. It’s the safest thing to do. Who really needs to be themselves, that’s like, overrated, I hear. Unfortunately that only lasted so long until I became profoundly depressed. I’m great now though, don’t worry, and these are some things I learned. One. You can only pretend to be something you’re not for a while. It won’t last forever. Two. You can’t make everyone happy. Me calling myself trans is gonna piss some people off. Me physically transitioning is gonna confuse the heck out of some folks. And that’s just how it’s gonna be! No matter how much I might not like it, there’s nothing I can do about it. I found some real peace in accepting this, and I’ve made the conscious decision to be done worrying about how others will react to my transness. I also don’t have any desire to try and convince close-minded humans to respect my gender or pronouns, cuz frankly I feel my time and efforts are better spent focused on living a happy, healthy, rad life, rather than debating the validity of… me… with strangers. So if you think I’m a goofy trans trender, that’s a bummer, but it’s also not my problem! What I care about is concentrating on being my best, truest self and building others like me up. That just sounds so much better to me than being scared and angry, so, I’m doing it. And that’s what my story and channel are going to be, moving forward. Authenticity, positivity unapologetic exploration of self, fearless experimentation and expression. I truly can’t tell you how excited I am to be ME! Like how cool is that! You are watching me give myself permission to be a hundred percent exactly who I am! I get to be me! That’s frickin magical! And what’s even sweeter is the rest of my life I get to be this way. It’s so… freeing. So what do you all need to know about my transness? My name is Ash. Disclosure: I haven’t made that officially legal yet because I’ve been afraid, but that might change soon. I’m pronoun indifferent. This means he/she/they, I’m cool with any or all of those. You can use them interchangeably, even. I might like that. And finally, I’m in the early stages of considering physically transitioning. Now you know! If you dig all this, dope! If you aren’t into it, okay, but you might want to unsubscribe. Cuz I’m done not being exactly who I am, and I’m not about to change that for you. For those who do plan on sticking around though, I’m stoked I think we are in for an exciting ride. Okay, bye!

100 thoughts on “I’m Trans.

  1. First of all, i stumbled on this randomly by reading gmm comments… second, i think your hilarious and very entertaining and have a good voice for voice acting. Third, i dont get how it all works. I am straight, i am not scared or against gay or bisexual or trans or anything of the sorts. Im very progressive in that sense. But i also dont understand how it works and what is it all over all… is being trans physically changing your body from male to female? And if so how does that work and what exactly changes you in the sense that you know you want that. What goes through your head exactly if you could describe it… and um, again i think your awesome i just stumbled on this and have been confused and pretty wak about the idea if trans bc im not and i dont have any of the thought process a trans might have in the sense of how your mind isnt in the correct body. I hope you understand what im saying and all. Again your super entertaining and i love this and even tho the idea of trans is new and kind of strange in my eyes i am not against it. I think you earned a sub. Hope you see this or someone does and responds. Cool thanks byeeee!

  2. Thank you! I feel like this is changing a little as we (hopefully) realize that in-fighting is killing us. I recently came out as trans nonbinary and looking back at pics of myself throughout my life I can see this has always been me, and it has been a great relief to finally be able to give myself the legitimacy I deserve. So yeah, thank you so much for being you and being visible! ✨

  3. I'm a pure full bone afide transgender female and I love and support you Ash, I'm so sorry members of our community have made you feel that crappy. It amazes me that the LGBT community-which is based on acceptance-can be so divided and judgemental over the most trivial of issues.

  4. 1:22 i.. came out to my mom like this: lol mom btw i think i like girls

    … but i knew my family is ok with is since i have a gay uncle so…

  5. I am Non-Binary, but have only told 3 friends, and one told another. I have started wearing gender nuteral clothes, and you gave the strength to ask to get a haircut! I now am the real Charley. Thank you!! Keep being you.

  6. Others: cereal before milk!
    Others again: no! Milk before cereal!
    Others for a third time: what do you think?
    Me: I don’t drink milk, so just cereal! Bam easy! You avoid the entire argument!

  7. Lol I’m bi and my dad would hate meh if I told him hahaha my life sucks lmao (but just imagine google reading that 🤣)

  8. Your hair looks great here. Also cool yeah i wasn't sure if you were a transman or nb so now I know. If I met you I'd probably use they/them or he/him/his just based off your presentation/expression. Great vid!

  9. Hopped on here from the How to ADHD channel (I've seen your stuff before) and just really relate to your struggle to fit into a world that just refuses to understand you

    I eat my cereal without any milk at all

  10. Well done you. For being brave enough to just be you. I have adhd. People react well and people react ignorantly (I'm clever & people debate whether I should be on meds etc like they get a choice in my choice)& I found you via Jessica McCabe's video . I can't promise to subscribe but well done (that's not said in a patronising way, I'm scared to be me and struggle to be accepted because ADHD traits are annoying and paralyzing and cause lots of damage, in some ways ….)

  11. Ash: “I have been scared shitless”
    Me: 😂😂😂
    Also me(3 seconds later) wow dammmnn I cant even imagine

  12. Oh my god finally I found SOMEONE who understands and made it out in the other side. Thank you so much Ash.

  13. I don’t know why I’m just now finding your channel but I’m so glad I found it and btw I live your hair

  14. My Dearest Ash…..wow, how formal is THAT? Lol's. I'm soooooo very glad you're back and even happier that you've decided to be you. Whoever and whatever "who" is. Who cares? You are you and that's why we love you! I'm ecstatic that you are going to be your authentic self. He'll, I'm 62 and still trying to figure out "who" I am. Since my disability affects my nerve endings….well, let's just say that it definitely affects one's labido…and not in the good way. Either that or a combination of that and the trauma (which I believed to have a handle on at one point in time) of past relationships have totally messed with my head and maybe if one day I find someone who would actually treat me like a human being, who knows? Maybe it is still there hiding…lurking in the shadows…waiting to be reborn because of "true love."

    Anyway, off my soapbox now….I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, your humor, your creativity, and most of all, your honesty. And all I can say is, I'm glad You are back and im thrilled you are still the fantastical YOU!

    Blessings, Grannie Annie from Maine

  15. I am so glad ive onlt seen fake hate ab the milk before cereal and not him being trans! That makes me so happy!!!!!!!

  16. You are such an amazing and awesome person❤❤ Keep being strong and incredible, I am sending you a lots of love and hugs from here❤❤❤❤

  17. hey… I came out because of you and i only finally just called myself trans (because I'm nonbinary)due to this video. You've given me so much courage and although you probably wont read this is just needed to say thank you. You saved me from myself and empowered me to be myself st the same time.
    you have no idea who I am or what you've done for me and heck you might never know, but just know that I thank you from the bottom of my nonbinary trans heart.

  18. Can you please give me advice on how to come out to my mum as trans? I hate my real name which is Alyssa and my mum is saying that this is just a 'phase' and I don't know how to tell her

  19. Girl you will always be a woman. Lol this Nb is a bunch of nonsense. You look like a cute little tomboy if anything.

  20. Hey you just popped up in my feed out of no where but i love your positivity and i can relate coming out as trans or being yourself is a big challenge i am a transgender male myself and everyday is a challenge but i really love your videos and am super happy you popped up in my feed!!😁

  21. You are an amazing person Ash! You are perfect and special and if people can't see that then there is something wrong with them not you. You are a beautiful handsome soul and deserve the world! I feel so inspired by you and your journey through finding out who you truly are and I am so happy for you making the decision to share your stories and the parts of you that make up who you are, with all of us. You spread hope, light and knowledge here on YouTube and that is one of the most amazing things you can do. YouTube can be a dark, hateful place sometimes but being here on your channel just makes we feel like a valued person and that we all do have a place in this world of ours. You are amazing and I say thank you for all you do. I hope you continue to create content and if not that is totally ok. I hope that your life is just as amazing as you deserve it to be. THANK YOU ASH!!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 YOU ARE SO AMAZING!!!

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