Super Special Secret Bike – Buddy System Ep2

Super Special Secret Bike – Buddy System Ep2


Last time onBuddy System,
Rhett and Link tucked
their shirts
into their underwear.
so Link could climb a flagpole.So much corn!And Rhett could come clean
about space camp.
Did you eat space ice cream? Even got it
for breakfast sometimes.-They get tased by Maxwell…
-I said hands up!…an old friend
from high school,
who invites them
to see his magic act
-that’s actually not an act.
-It’s real.Oh, and Link realizes…I don’t have my phone. It probably came out
when you were getting tased.The truth is somebody
with a creepy metal hand
has it– of course,
they don’t know that.
But you do. Enjoy.I don’t know.
Maybe it’s in here. Okay, why don’t you
call yourself. And I’ll use my extreme
reaching ability to sense for the vibration. And how exactly
do I call myself? You call your phone
with my phone. Oh, okay. -(line ringing)
-It’s ringing. -Shh! -I’m just
telling you it’s ringing so you know
when to listen for it. I can’t listen if you’re
telling me that it’s ringing. It was only supposed to be
a brief initial comment, -but now you’re extending it.
-Shh! I-I think I might’ve heard it. Oh, it went to voice mail.
Hey… me. It’s me. Just looking forourphone– Hang up and call back. Called back too quick.
It went straight to voice mail. Hey, it’s me again. Still no word
on our phone, so– Give me the phone. (phone ringing) Okay, if I’m gonna
sell millions of these, it’s gonna have
to work with phones! We can do that, right? Well, in order to work
with capacitive touchscreens, we’d have to have a reliable
conductor to connect your hand to the hand’s fingers. It-it could be done, but would
likely raise the price over… 19.95?! That’s unacceptable! Make it happen. And make it happen for 19.95 or three easy payments of 6.66. Yes, ma’am,
we can make it happen. And why is that, man dip? It’s Mandip. Whatever. Put it around your neck. (gasping) Why is that? Because renowned
infomercial queen… -Yeah.
-…inventor of the Clock Rake, Nanny Drone
and the award-winning -Cinnammon-Dusted Basketball,
-Yeah. four-time cover girl
and four-time centerfold ofPitchin’ Magazine,Aimee Brell… always makes it happen. That’s right! She does, and she is me. Me does. (laughs) Look at the color
of your face! (laughing) ♪ ♪ -You sure it’s even in the
building? -I would think so. Well, do that thing where you,
uh, go on the Internet -and track your phone.
-Oh, I don’t have that. -I didn’t turn that on.
-Why? I don’t know.
It just felt unnecessary to toggle something
on that said “find my phone” when I actually had my phone. Well, we’re gonna have
to go old school on this one. Listen here, little britches. When you find
that you’ve lost something ♪ You’ve got to ♪ ♪ Retrace your steps,
my friend ♪ ♪ You’ll find in the beginning
what you lost in the– ♪ Okay, you got to recreate each
step exactly like it happened because we cannot miss a detail. Okay, well, when I was getting
out of my car this morning, you were already going
in the building. Okay. Uh, where was I exactly? Uh, closer to the door. Closer. Yeah, right about there. And then when I got
about halfway there, you just went in the building
and let the door shut. I never saw you. Well, you did
a snap and point. I don’t do that. Well, you made eye contact. If so, it was unintentional. And if you made it so upset,
why are you waiting till right now
to say something about it? It didn’t seem like
the type of thing to mention. It was a more of “a minor
infraction that combined “with a bunch of other minor
infractions leads to a sudden “and uncontrollable
emotional outburst at some unforeseen point
in the future” type thing. But I forgive you. But I’m not sorry. And I know I had my phone, because I took it out
to get the code for the door. We changed the code to 1234
so you’d remember it. Right. But I also forgot
that we made that decision. What is it? And after that, uh,
I headed into the kitchen to get myself some coffee. And there was
this guy at the door that I talked to for a second. Wait, a guy? Yeah, a guy trying to get me to join some group. Kind of seemed like a cult. But that’s gonna be hard
to recreate, so… Well, hold on now.
We got to get the details right. I mean, this guy–
what was he like? What was he wearing?
What he say? He had on, like, a robe. Super nice guy. And pretty much
everything he told me is in this pamphlet
that he left. (knocking) Hello, I’m Marsonius
of the Secluded Ones. Come in, Marsonius. You just let him in like that? Yeah, he was compelling. Tell me, are experiencing
satisfaction deep in your bosom? Where exactly is the bosom? Is that, like, the sternum? Or more of the solar plexus? Or just the general
bread basket area? Are you asking me that right now
or did you ask Marsonius that? I asked him that. In the soft parts area. But tell me, are you
experiencing satisfaction there? Uh, I don’t really
think about it much. (mumbling) Would you like to have
the vibrational love of Wahtatotateetik -shoot through your loins?
-Yes, Marsonius. -You said that?
-Yeah, it sounded good. Okay. Remove your shoes. Yes, Marsonius. Now, open yourself to Wahtatotateetik! ♪ ♪ Well, anyway, we meet every
Tuesday at 6:00 at the Y, unless there’s
a jazzercise class, in which case,
we meet at the Sizzler. You know what,
you should just follow me on Twitter
for updates. Which I did. And that means I had my phone. And then I came in here
to pour myself some coffee. And I happened
to catch a glimpse of my entire body
reflected in my Thermos. -That is a shiny Thermos.
-At that point, I thought to myself,
“I might have on too much blue.” -Hmm.
-Blue shirt, blue jeans. It was just a head
and then blue. And you know what,
I definitely had my phone because I took a picture
of myself, and I texted it
to my mom ask her if she thought it was
too much blue. -What’d she say?
-Too much blue. So then I came in here
to put on a difference shirt. -This shirt.
-That’s my shirt. Turns out this is your shirt. -It was in my section.
-You put it on backwards. Turns out I put it on backwards. This is a deep V. If it were any deeper,
I’d be wearing an apron. Yeah, too deep– that’s why
I put it in your section. You thought I’d like a V
this deep? No, I thought you’d put it on
backwards and not notice. Well, what I did notice,
at the very bottom of the V, a mole I’d never seen before.
Check it out. Oh, yeah, there it is. It could be back cancer. Right, and that’s how I know
I had my phone. -Mm-hmm. -Because I did
an image search for troublesome moles. But what came up
were pictures of cute, mischievous moles. Moles? Moles. Talking about the animal, right? Yeah. And once I clawed my way
out of the rabbit hole of moles, with their beady, little,
non-functioning eyes, I became curious what it would
be like to live life as a mole. So I closed my eyes and got down on all fours, and I made my way to my locker for my second deodorant
application of the day. But I accidentally opened
your locker and found… a secret (echoing): passage. (stammers)
No need to go in there. But I went in there. And then, at the other end
of this secret passage, I found this freaking
secret room. Wow. Never seen this before. Definitely the first time
I’ve ever been in here. And this exercise bike. Is this yours? Oh, I mean, there could be
another guy name Rhett who’s been storing his bike through my locker. I mean, anything’s possible.
Hey, don’t touch it! Dude, how long have you had it? Well, I haven’t had it forever. I mean, I got it before we met. -Before first grade?
-I got it in kindergarten. Friends don’t keep
secret bikes secret. Well, this is
a very special bike. What makes it so special? ♪ This is my exercise bike ♪ ♪ It’s got a lot of features
that I like ♪ ♪ Like a seat ♪ ♪ And pedals for my feet ♪ ♪ And handlebars
for me to hold onto ♪ That’s all pretty standard. ♪ This is my exercise bike ♪ ♪ You ought to see just
how fast I ride ♪ (whistling melody) ♪ Look at me ♪ ♪ Going faster than the speed ♪ ♪ Of a pregnant cheetah ♪ How pregnant? Half pregnant. ♪ It’s like I’m riding
in the Tour de France ♪ ♪ But in his mind,
that what he means ♪ ♪ Don’t need no drugs
to boost my performance ♪ ♪ Just test his pee,
you’ll see he’s clean ♪ ♪ Got to the top totally
on my own ♪ ♪ He’s a man of his word ♪ ♪ No, that’s not a syringe
of human growth hormone ♪ ♪ It’s happy gerbil herbs ♪ ♪ Herbs ♪ ♪ This is just
my exercise bike ♪ ♪ The resistance goes
from low to high ♪ (whistling melody) ♪ And when it’s high ♪ ♪ It makes it seem like I ♪ ♪ Am going up an incline ♪ Well, yeah, that’s generally
how they work. ♪ You need to stop it
with your accusing ♪ ♪ He’s just an natural athlete ♪ ♪ No, I’m not getting
a blood transfusion ♪ ♪ It’s just a bag of pudding ♪ ♪ And look at this ball,
it’s not deflated at all ♪ ♪ Plus it’s irrelevant
to this conversation ♪ ♪ And no, I didn’t send
my cousin to the Congo ♪ ♪ To extract the DNA
of a gorilla ♪ ♪ And then formulate it
into a sports drink ♪ ♪ Which I personally endorse ♪ It’s called Gorillergy. ♪ This is just
my exercise bike. ♪ Wow. Yes, anyway. This is my, uh, super special, secret, super secret,
special bike. -Can I ride it?
-No. Hmm, so you don’t tell me
about the bike. You don’t tell me
about space camp. What else have you
not told me about? I eat my fried chicken
from the inside out. -What? -I’m actually
only six feet tall. I just wear shoes
that look like more leg. I’m maroon-burgundy color blind. For the first ten years
of friendship, I thought your name was Lonk. I can’t remember
what zebras look like. I have a safety deposit box
in Peoria, Illinois, with a conch shell in it. I can’t tell left from right
unless I use the L. I love M. Night Shyamalamalama’s
Lady in the Water.
I don’t know
how to tell analog time. On Sundays, I play in a
Bob Marley xylophone cover band. I think clouds
and dinosaurs are fake. And I’m Banksy. (sighs) Feels good
to get all that out. (grunting) Wait, did you have your phone
in there? Yeah, I took some pictures
of your bike. Oh, send me those.
I have a scrapbook. For the bike. Then what’d you do? -After that, we went to lunch.
-Yeah. And I know I had my phone there. Yeah, ’cause you showed me
that list of former child stars who now work at national parks -Right.
-but have coincidentally aged in such a way as to resemble the animals in the parks
where they work. Right, and I remember
putting my phone down -on the counter…
-Mm-hmm. That’s the last place
I remember seeing my phone. Bingo. But I don’t remember
anyone taking it. Yeah, we would’ve noticed that. Take a look at that. -That’s Jonathan Taylor Thomas?
-Yeah. -And that is a prairie dog.
-That is uncanny. Yeah, I know,
and the amazing thing is that is a black-tailed
prairie dog– the only species of prairie dog
to be found in North Dakota in Theodore Roosevelt
National Park, the employer
of Junior Park Ranger… RHETT: J-double-T himself. LINK:
What are the chances? AIMEE: This phone… (sighs) This phone… (sighs) This phone holds the potential of reaching everyone who watches
Good Mythical Morning
with my suite of life-altering
BrellLyfe products. But it is locked, and I cannot figure out
the passcode, and it’s making me… crazy! (gasps) (Aimee groans) I have a headache. (phone clicks) It was 1-2-3-4.

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