The Internet Will Turn You Into a Jerk – Blark and Son

The Internet Will Turn You Into a Jerk – Blark and Son

– Stop sitting in
front of your computer wishing you were a better
version of yourself. Stop allowing your friends
to jack all the babes that belong to you. It is your duty to grab
the bull by the dick and listen to your
best bud, Rock O Flash, ’cause I’m taking
you to the top baby. You think I bought this
mansion and made all my money acting like the
old me, (beeps) no. Throw the old you away. Remember my 28 rules to live
by, force people to like you. Number 11, smack your way
to success, yes, I said it. Hit people. Your hands are alarm clocks,
waking up the normal population to the new you. What do we think
about those normies? (snores) They’re boring. Rule 12, you are
what you say you are. I’ve officiated countless
weddings, am I ordained? Hell no I’m not ordained. Are you kidding me? Rule 13, 14, and
15, buy the glasses, successful people wear a
constant emotional mask. Link in bio. – No more crying about Regina,
no more feeling like a loser, embrace the new, take it all. (sniffs) I am Son O Flash. (rock music) – Son, I made a cake version
of that Himalayan plane crash I was in. (dramatic music) (yells) – Smack that, cake is
empty calories old man. – That was an ice
cream therapy cake son. We were supposed to re-eat my
friends in sweet treat form to help me work
through the guilt of what I had to do to survive. – Rule 20, the past is trash. Son O Flash don’t
like that sugar dirt. What up, what up? – While it was rough
surviving off human flesh, but at least no one
smacked it out of my hands. (sad music) – I’m sorry dad, that
was mean, my bad, hey look down
there, I think some of your cake is still chill. (smacks) – A-man As-ra-el. – Right in the
sneezer you geezer. You just got double timed. Rule number eight,
deception is cool, with a little rule five,
don’t just beat your opponent, shame them. – I made that cake to that
when Regina and Zeke get here we can eat my dead
friends together. I can see now the only
dead friend here is you. (slams) – Whatever, when the
homies come over, they’re going to
love the new me. They’re gonna have to. (rock music) – [Old Man] Son. – [Son] Not now dad. – [Old Man] Hey son. – [Son] Get out. – [Old Man] I love you son. (laughs) – [Zeke] The village elder
rides up on his unicorn and presents you with
modest bouquet of flowers, he hopes this small
but meaningful token and the gratitude of his
people will be enough reward for slaying the hyper-kraken. – Well it’s not. Chill-bro refuses the offer
and smacks that bundle of weeds he demands the elders
unicorn as payment. – Son, what are you doing? – Rule four, don’t stop
squeezing when you got ’em by the balls baby. Now’s the perfect time
to renegotiate the deal. – But we swore a secret
oath to save the village of the elder pixies. – Chill-bro Braggins,
barbarian investor playboy, doesn’t give a sniff
about his word. Rule nine, truth is
what you make it. – The elder reluctantly hands
over his majestic companion. – Bingo, baby. Chill-bro slits the unicorns
throat and starts sawing off that shiny horn. – You have to roll the die
to see if that can happen. – Bam. Chill-bro stuffs the magical
horn into his designer satchel, snaps a pic and
sends it to the boys, the group chat goes crazy. – The last of the proud
unicorns fall to the ground. It’s sad sparkling eyes look up, a single rainbow tear
falls down her cheek and with that, silence. – Son, what is
going on with you? Chill-bro Braggins is
ruining our reputation on Triple Earth. (laughs) – Babe you are nuts,
Chill-bro is mad friendly. – Friendly? First you pranked the ice hawk
and took a dump in her nest, then you stole the secret
acorn from the world tree causing the moon of
smiles to implode. And then, (giggles)
after he gifted you the bracelet of respect, you
nut tapped Griminger the Wise. – That was a power move, okay? Had to establish dominance
early in the meeting, rule 24. – I wish Sunfred had
come on this adventure in place of Chill-bro,
he’s true hero. – Sunfred isn’t a hero,
Sunfred is a weakling who wishes he was someone else. Sunfred sits at his
computer all day and he hates himself. – Since when does Sunfred
the paladin have a computer? – (mumbles) I meant
his spell book. Whatever, you know what? Chill-bro is pissed. He orders the villagers
to line up by height, and each stick out their good
hand and he grabs his sword, – I stab Chill-bro on the
back before he can terrorize the elder pixies. – Critical hit,
Chill-bro falls dead, villagers give somber
cheer as victory is quickly overshadowed by
tragic loss of last unicorn. – Whatever, ya’ll a bunch of
storm-tastic snoozes anyway. I’m a get my rule book
and see if Chill-bro can haunt you
literal backstabbers. (dramatic music) So what if the unicorn
was the purest creature on Triple Earth, rule number 16, if you can make
a profit, off it. Hey dad I got a riddle for ya. What animal is magical,
the last of it’s kind, and super (beeps) dead. (dramatic music) – I’m so sorry I ate you Larry. (weeps) – I guess this is just
the way people treat you when you’ve unlocked it. – [Regina] I don’t know
what’s up with him. – Yeah, I can’t believe
he dipped his balls in the fountain of rejuvenation. It’s like why would you
want super young balls? – Yeah. – Which means you still
have old penis, you know? – Yeah, I know Zeke. – It’s like why have
super young balls, only to have image
ruined by ancient penis. – Zeke, okay, I
get it, honestly, I just wish he’s snap
out of it and go back to the son we all like. – And from straight on,
just stay with me here, young, fresh balls would
be so hard to appreciate beyond overhang
of antique penis. – Zeke, I get it. – Why don’t they dig the new me? – Maybe because it’s
not the real you? – Whoa, what are
you doing up there? – Well it is a Wednesday
evening and I always do my inverted abdominal workout. Minimizes workout time while
it maximizes the effect. – Oh, just like rule number, – Just like nothing boy,
let me ask you a question. Why’d you saw the
unicorns horn off? – To send a sweet
pic to the boys? – Other than that? – ’cause you can
make money off it. – And why can you make
money off a unicorn horn? – ’cause there’s only one
unicorn in all of Triple Earth? – So the unicorn is valuable
because it’s unique? – Yeah, I guess, maybe? – Then why are you trying to
be another blank-faced soldier in Rocko’s army of imbeciles? Now I used to know a boy who
lived at the end of this hall, who was one of the most unique,
stubborn, funny, (beeps) up unicorns I ever met. And I liked that boy, be a
shame if I never saw him again. (groans) (sad music) – [Tv] Throw the old you
away, buy the glasses, smack your way to success,
take it all, buy the glasses, don’t forget to buy
the shadow booklet with up to 20 extra rules,
including rule number 35, throw your friends and
family away, do it alone, always carry nun
chucks, you never know. Rule number 37, buy
the (beeps) glasses. (soft music) – Hey guys, sorry I was
being such a troll dong, is there any room on
this quest for a paladin with plus 12 regret for
being mean to his friends? (laughs) – Of course, join the
feast, the village decided to cook the unicorn to
celebrate death of Chill-bro. – You know they say unicorn meat is the sweetest in existence. – Why I hunger so, I
could’ve consumed a horse, or horned equivalent. (laughs) – Glad to have you back son. By the way, that
guy Rock O Flash, turns out he’s a
bestiality pedofile. (dramatic music) (laughs) He’s a puppet (beeps) (funky music) – [Man] Sweet. (upbeat music)

100 thoughts on “The Internet Will Turn You Into a Jerk – Blark and Son

  1. Things fall into place now, he has a purple heart and he survived a plane crash.
    I'm guessing all those near death experiences stuck him into a permanent High On Life/Carpe Diem state….which is possibly the most hated characteristic for any teenager to have to suffer.

    Its the ultimate inconvenient Dad!

  2. cant get enough of his shit, N poor Larry

    "I cant believe he dipped his balls into the fountain of rejuvenation", "Why have fresh new balls to be overshadowed by ancient penis?"

  3. Anyone know the name of the song that plays when Blark shows Son his Himalayan plane crash cake/him eating the dummy of Larry? Or at the very least, the genre of music?

  4. I’d like to have young balls because mine look old and saggy even though they’re still young. I do have large balls.

  5. god damn when his dad rushes in his room it sounds like he is tarring the wood of the frame😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  6. Rocko flash was a bestiality pedophile. I guess he fucked baby sheep?
    this is the funniest show in a long time. Love it!

  7. Why was he in that plane crash? I thought he was living on social security checks, did he hide in the luggage compartments?

  8. Love this show deff has that old school crank yankers vibe with the dark humor and just randomness makes the perfect show

  9. With both direction and magnitude 4:17 VECTOR, that’s me, cause I’m committing crime, with both direction and magnitude

  10. 4. Don’t stop squeezing when you got them by the balls
    5. Don’t just beat your opponent, shame them.
    8. Deception is cool
    9. The truth is what you make it
    11.Smack your way to success
    12. You are what you say you are
    13. Buy the glasses
    14. Buy the glasses
    15. Buy the glasses
    16. If you can make a profit, off it.
    20. The past is trash
    24. Assert dominance early in the meeting
    ?. Minimize workout time while maximizing the effect.
    35. Throw you friends and family away.
    37. Buy the (beeps) glasses!

  11. The song that played during the cake scene and black eating a fake person for some reason seems to be this still not sure though

    cantigas de amigo ondas do mar de vigo

  12. I mean, I’d always assumed blark had eaten human flesh. I just though it might not have been in a life or death situation. He seems the type to just get…curious

  13. Sure the later bits are funny, but everyone is missing out on the subtle hilarity that is the zoom on the cake set to mournful Tibetan music, with the miniaturized screams of model Blark.

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