Tumblr CEO: No More Porn

Tumblr CEO: No More Porn


– Hey, internet citizens, it’s me, Harry Pancake, the CEO of Tumblr. We’ve begun the difficult
process of removing all adult content from our platform. We know some of our users are
unhappy with this decision. But Tumblr’s a family company, and there’s so much
that we do have to offer that is SFW, short for
safe, fun and wholesome. (laughs) (claps) We’re still havin’ fun, come on. Tumblr’s a vibrant space
for artists, comedians, and young activists, and
the many non-pornographic communities that make up our platform. Consider the thriving mascot community we have around Tumblr. These sports-heads can’t get
enough of their team’s mascots. If you spend any time at all scrolling under the furry hashtag, you’ll be wowed at their craftsmanship… ingenuity… and… dedication… Whoa– what am I looking at here, Carm? ‘Cause that, uh… So you’re telling me I’m
looking at this lion, I guess, centaur, penetrating this lady koala from behind. That is not indicative of what
the furry community is about. – What, okay, so you’re telling
me if I go to yiff.party– (throwing up) – So the entire furry
community is just these foxes and badgers and dragons
all bangin’ each other, I– – Do you think that was my question, was what the nomenclature
of these fuckin– What is this frog doing with its nipples– How does this not violate our extremely clarified nipple policy? The frog’s got tits out to here, Carmen! I’ve never seen bigger tits in my life. – Where? – Go to hell! Tumblr’s about creativity, not smutt. Look at the great fan-created fiction that’s already on here. Sherlock Holmes, as a high school student? Shared over 800,000 times. The untold adventures
of Samwise and Frodo, sharing a villa in the Tuscan countryside? How creative is that? Here, I wanna read you a passage from one of my favorite fan-created fictions, Harry Potter and the
Wand of Impossible Girth. But I don’t understand,
Dobby, I gave you my sock. Why do you want the rest of my clothes? Dobby gripped the tender
balls of the Boy Who Lived, and whispered, Dobby is master now, and Cornelius Fudge gets to watch. I… Conservatively, what percentage
of our platform is porn? – 9%? – 90? – (screams) Martha, I’m not angry, I
just am trying to understand how this didn’t get to me? When I started this website, I wanted it to be about
buddies doing social media. That’s why I started the BDSM tag! It’s full of what? (screams in annoyance) Well, it can’t all be porn! Okay? It can’t all be porn! There’s gotta be some
not-porn on the platform! Activists, we have got young activists. Head over socialist–
put up socialist Tumblr, and I bet there’s… Cute, that’s real cute, gang. So, what? This is seizing the means of production? I will find it. I will find the non-porn, alright? Cooking! Look, this eggplant is sprinkling water on a crying man– no! Family, okay, family values. Thirsty stepsister needs a
big… no, she doesn’t need that. And in fact, nobody needs that. Something boring, something boring, uh… Craftsmanship, DIY. Here, watch a hydraulic press crush my quivering virgin asshole. Why is everyone on the internet so horny? Why is nobody obeying rule 34, be polite? Is there a different rule 34? So you’re telling me that if
I put in any– any– anything, uh, uh, Bronson Pinchot,
Perfect Strangers. Street guy first-time anal bareback that– It’s 12 million results,
it’s 12 million results. That’s the real Bronson Pinchot. Well, he’s workin’. (erotic squeaking) Well, I don’t understand what the octopus is
getting out of any of this. (erotic squeaking) And frankly, the young woman doesn’t look very happy, either. And this is under the cartoons tag. Yabba-dabba-do not search
under there if you just wanna watch some Flintstones
or somethin’ wholesome. Well, guess I’m the idiot, right? (gentle guitar music) Just a fool. Wanted a website, some
artsy photos of rain, couple of bad poems, and
a conversation format that was frankly impossible to follow. You took my dream and you stuffed it up with dicks and pussies and hard clits. – Really? – I beg your pardon? Freedom of speech, heard of it?

65 thoughts on “Tumblr CEO: No More Porn

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  2. Yabba da badoo this is one of the funniest and most memorable ch sketch… I don't know how many times ive watched this but literally can recite every lines of this sketch right now. 😂

  3. Tumblr: So the entire furry community is just these foxes and badgers and dragons all bangin' each other, I–
    Me (a veteran suppoter of the furry fandom): No Harry, Not all furries are like that. You just entered the darkest place of the internet called No Man's Fap.

  4. Microsoft once posted a thing about freedom of speech.
    It still made me laugh .

    Porn is freedom of speech bitch.

  5. Not to be that guy but..

    Being a furry is just having a hobby and is not inherently sexual. Some don't wear or make fursuits and some do. Some draw art and some draw porn. 🙂

  6. Well the last bit was true just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean you should ban it no matter how extreme. This is coming from a person that the post would've been targeted against; a Jewish man

  7. Yahoo bought Tumblr for a BILLION dollars and was just forced to sell it for 3 MILLION. I am Loving this video even more now. It's not even been a year lmao. 😂😅💀

  8. Thought of this skit with the news that Yahoo sold of tumblr for only 2 million with a 1.98 billion net loss. Lol

  9. And now Verizon had to sell it for 3.1 million, because the sites users made the site so pricey that the price went to 1.1 Billion to this

    You know what? If making corporations that are not running their site with actual thinking and not having a idea what to do with it lose money then I'm staying in Tumblr until the Tumblrtanic sinks cause of the iceberg

  10. It should be a well known fact by now that when humans are introduced to new technologies someone will immediately try and use it for porn.

  11. THE FURRY COMMUNITY AREN'T JUST PORN GROUP ITS ABOUT ART AND LETTING OURSELVES CREATE A WORLD OF OUR OWN PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW IT BECAUSE IDIOTIC PEOPLE ARE TELLING LIES

  12. "Freedom of speech EVER HEARD OF IT??"

    Exactly how Tumblr reacted to hate speech fucking great script whoever wrote this so accurate.

  13. I just checked google trends and no joke, Tumblr lost 73% of it's user base after the ban. I mean, I know this video is supposed to be a joke, but it actually isn't far off.

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