P: Hey guys!
D: hello internet! P: So I thought we should make this video as I felt like I was missing something in my life… D: what, uh…the strange mix of beauty, horror, creativity… D: and inappropriate sexualness? (every danisnotonfire video ever) P…I guess
*laughs* P: So I asked you guys to delve into the depths of tumblr and tag your favorite things with: D: and here we are… D: About to go down the rabbit hole again… P: It’s tumblr time! *phil giggles, dan cackles* D: I like, that they made our faces slightly green
P: Yeah D: Just, y’know for realism…and accuracy P: I’m doing such a good raptor face as well! P: I’m like Chris Pratt!
D: *raptor noise*
P: I wanna be your friend! *weird phil noise* D: There you are eating my hair? P: Wow
D: like, I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be honest… D…That’s not that erotic D: *giggling*
P: It’s like you’re blowing into my ear, like a shell… P: A book about Phil Lester: the amazing dad (mhm) P: Stop calling me dad! P: Is it weirder they’re calling me dad or son, I don’t even know… D: Make up your mind guys… D: What role do we have in your life?
P: I’m sorry! I’m so confused D: Ugh, how does that make us feel?? D:…That’s a disgrace to Shibes everywhere P: He looks so serious now…
D: Dear god *much tumblr very phan* P: Here’s everything the akinator’s found the crazy demon guessing machine… P: phil’s glasses! D: WAIT STOP! D:IS THAT THE BALLOON THAT POPPED IN DIL’S 1ST BIRTHDAY VIDEO P: WhhhhHHHHHOOOW? P:What are you doing? P: are you like…s-squeezing my nipple there? D: But no like, honestly these edits… D:We need to take some better photos for them D:…cause honestly, it just looks like we’re groping each other P: Probably in a baking video I was like “have I got batter on my nipple?” D: GOD PHIL LEMME SCRAPE THE SUGAR OFF YOU. D: Yeah…
*laughs* P: There we are as dreamy anime charaters! D: Are-are we? We’re not that dreamy in real life… P: No….
D: Thank you guys for allowing us to kind of… D:…live through fantasies where we’re dreamy anime characters P: Senpai! D: Is that how you’d sound?
P: Yes! D:…a dreamy anime- D: Uh…Phiru-senpai? D: ah, Dan-kun? *both laugh* D: Some Dan and Phil Pokemon cards! D: Phil’s moves are ‘potted plant’ P: I throw a plant at the opponent! D: Phil has enough houseplants to use as projectile attacks D: ..and smile!
P: Aww a ray of sunshine! D: a ray of sunshine has blinded your opponent! DING D: …you get a self-esteem and mood boost P: well let’s have a look at yours, dan! P: you’ve got ‘danosaur’ power D:…Opponent is confused, and Dan has a cringe attack P: and you throw memes at your opponent! D: that’s…that’s all I do in any self-defense situation P: RELEASE THE MEMES P: oh WOW, looK AT THAT! D: our (Phil’s) first incredible pencil drawing D: That’s…
P:: AMAZING! P…Thank you, phancil! D: the Dan and Phil pencil drawer
phil: *giggles* D:strong brand P: What someone’s actually put us on their bANK CARD?!
D: *giggles* P: That’s hilarious
D: you’re… D:…You’re gonna hand that over, to REAL people when you buy things for like, five years! P: Just imagining myself going into a slot now… D: *giggling* and..and other sentences Phil has said Both: OOOOOOOHHHHHHH OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH P: NOOOO! P: I didn’t think I’d be shocked so early!
D: there’s a… D: There’s a bottom half to that picture… D: wooOOOOOOOO P: I am not scrolling down! P: who’s saying ‘be a good boy, ok Dan”? P: is it an otter?
D: is it shREK? P: IS IT SHREK?
D: imagine it guys! D: Whatever you want the fantasy to be both: *laugh* P: i-i don’t wanna look at that anymore D: CHRIST D: QUICKLY FIND SOME DOGS OR SOMETHING P: cat WHISKers!
D: ah-oHHHH P: Hey, that’s a good one!
D: o-oh my god… D: I just realised… D:…that the word whiskers has ‘WHISK’ in it… D: Tiny Dan and Phil, riding a nyan llama P: CUTE P: Dan-iraffe! D: High effort content there! P:that must’ve taken HOURS!
D: definitely, yeah D: WhAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO- OKAY! *laughs* P: Made me laugh! D: Okay okay right…
P: I wanna keep it in! D: That has nothing to do with us! P: Maybe we were on that road!
D: AT ALL P: Before that happened
D: But thank you, so much for submitting that P: Casual spon there… D: Thanks, just workin’ some product placement P: Lovely bags on the danandphilshop… D:*giggling* …shut up P: OOOHHHH
D:OH SWEET JESUS P: THATS HORRIBLE
D: OHH G-GOD P: The one thing you see before you die… P: *makes Phil noise*
D: Th-that’s… P: that’s a nightmare! no thanks! D: And then directly underneath it… D: same D: though to be honest, with it coming out a week from the moment we’re filming this that is how i feel right now P: yeah
D: that feel when… D: IM NOT READY P: WOOOW D: Oh my god that’s amazing P: that’s *voice crack* incrEdible D: *laughing* wait a minute, wait… D: In case you thought, that just the digital drawing was impressive D:…notice the Shibe, D:…and the Haru P: ohhh
D: and the Muse and Tumblr logo D:…and the Pepe D: Just worked *laughs* into the night sky behind… P: that’s so beautiful i wanna cut my own ear off… D: Good ol’ Van would surely be proud of that D: oh it’s one of these things, ok swipe in 3 2 D: 1, SWIPE PHIL P: woOOO *both laugh* P: i-I feel like I was controlling you D: we-we all lured the Dan onto the page P: 3, 2, 1 P: SWIPE
D: WAAAH P: hey look, it’s Dan and Brendon Urie, except THEY’VE GOT THE SAME FACE SO NOTHING HAPPENED! D: Oh my god, in that picture…that’s worrying P: yeah D: i’ll take that as a compliment P: there’s the new shrek movie! if you wanna go see it D: D-do any of those pictures…even fit on the faces that they were-
P: no… P: that…deserves no more time D: a-and i don’t even care! D: thank you! P: *laughs* D: yeah…oh god
P: amaziNG D: of course
P: The pope loves our book! P: he reads it every day
D: real photo P: That’s what heaven looks like P: Awe that’s cute! D: y-yea-ah *while chuckling* P: to-toro, to-to-ro P:WOOOAAAHHH D: HA
P: That’s so weird… D: ok, right… D: i-i don’t have a neck thin enough for that to actually be a good hairstyle for me P: I think that really suits me! D: When have you evER pulled that face? D: That-that is so, that is your actual face?
phil: wait, wait lemme do the face P: Just-just imagine that
D: yeah, you’re totally recreating it right now Phil… P: It suits me! P: that’s we-eird! D: That’s, kinda- I mean P: it’s cute but weird
D: hehbuhabuh P: I don’t know what to think… D: The art style is really, wonderful P: um… P: Wh-h-*laughs*
D: wwhAAT D:WHAT AM I EVEN LOOKING AT! P: A new phone background, I think
D: *laughs* D: yeah, f-for sure D: WHAT THE F*CK, sorry
P: *cackling* P: That looks really wrong… D: Can you do that in real life, Phil? D: go on then, give it a shot P: No P: If I was a blonde cartoon… P: ..then it would suit me P: uUUUUUUUM D: What…?
P: nOOO P: The orange queen! D: I’m reaching the point, Phil… D: I JUST, I’M STRUGGLING… P: What noise would he make? D: ‘H-help, please kill me’ D: ‘…I’m made of sliced oranges’ P: ohH it’s these ones! D: OH SWEET GOD HAVE YOU SEEN THESE I HAVEN’T SEEN-
P: I’ve never seen that one before! D: OH MY…
P: wooooOw D: CHRIST D: WHAT IS THAT BOTTOM ONE ?? P: *laughter* i-i don’t know…
D: WHAT IS HAPPENING P: The universe is melting… D: SOME PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED THESE PROGRAMS P: I wish you actually looked like that… D: heh, i think everyone does D: eeeeeeeeuuuh
P: I’d feed you oats everyday P: OH-KAY P: There’s a pentagram on their basement floor! D: Someone’s trying to summon Dan and Phil using the powers of the occult D: What is there? um… D: some merch, a pooh bear… D: video equipment, a lion, and a laptop D: I think that’d work
P: yeah! D:yeah, try it out guys! P: ‘when it’s the middle of netflix and phil and he gives you this look…’ D: You invited that with your tweet, Phil!
P: I did P: There’s a screenshot from titanic 2 P: Ohmygod it’s real-life Dil! D: Ah-wait isn’t that agent Carter? P:What?
D: *chuckles* D: It’s someone cosplaying as our sim… Both: with agent Carter?? D: What is…LIFE? D: THAT…FRICKIN D: THAT IS EVERY DAY OF OUR LIVES, PEOPLE D: ‘ooh, Dan, get the door!’ run downstairs and it’s Phil who’s bought like another… D: FrickiN HOUSEPLANT D: or something… D: It’s so true…please P: I’m a heavy sleeper! Both: give us a twirl! D: it’s like you’re some tsundere, Phil P: I am P: BAKA
*dan laughs* D: Thats cute!
P: Yeah P: OHHHH P: Apparently that’s me and Nick Jonas!
D *cackling* P: w P: whe- P: why-why does my face do that when I’m mixed with Nick Jonas?? P: What happened?? D: What can I say? Dick would have cuter children… P: ‘hey buddy you in london? ‘ BOOP P: ‘Ok, but can you get lessons on how to hold phones?’ D:stOp cyberbullying us! ok? P: I just don’t know how to grip things! D: I’m sorry, ok? He doesn’t know what he’s doing P: Another totally…real image P: of a…
D: We are gonna send John a copy of our book D”:…That doesn’t need to be a photoshop fantasy P: Wow so spoopy Daniel! D: What is this gonna be? *my ringtone plays* P: wow… D: this is my legacy…when I die… D: this is what will be left of me
P: yeah P: it will
D: for the universe to discover P: meme queens! D: I jUst…..Ican’t.,, D: I’m-I’m reaching D: I’m reaching it, Phil… P: You’re almost there…
D: The limit… D:..I’m almost there D: In an alternate universe…
phil: ohh… D: Where the cheese is eating Phil! P: That’s terrifying!
D: It’s the not-Phil challenge! duhduhduhduhdUHduHDuh P: There’s you, as a ginger person D: That’s… D:…kinda, cute
P: it suits you D: I love ginger people D: and their freckled faces D: I just wanna — D: Sorry P: I’m concerned…
D: You’re not objects D:…but i do wanna put you in jars P: Why did we sell those masks?? P: why did we think that was a good idea? D: We’ve had… D: a-a lot of bad ideas over the years, Phil… P: and that is definitely one! D: This entire experience is just basically us just reaping what we’ve sown! P: yeah
D: We should be proud of our crop D: That’s you guys D: You’re our…wonderful harvest P: What? D: Sorry, I need to drop this, don’t I? P: yes… P: heLP P: HELP P: HELP, NO P:STOP
D: FFFFFFFF D: OH MY GO-
P ohHHH P: Stop melding my face with things!
D: HA HA HA HA D: how much did they even change your face for that?? P: I am the molester moon! P: ohhh-kaayy D: Where did you get that photo of my body? P: *laughs*
D: That’s what I look like naked P: I thought that was some horrific photoshop, but that’s my actual face! P: thaat’s just a normal photo, Phil, that someone submitted D: That is, an AmazingDil P: Incredible!
D: That’s cute P: Is that someone’s bedroom?? D: Holy f*ck… P: ‘Hey kids, wanna buy some memes?’ D: Literally me in three years P: Definitely
D: …when my career’s over P: Hey Dan it’s your favorite –
D:: what? –
P: it’s you as Christopher Robin! D: noooOOOO NO I CANT HANDLE THIS EMOTION D:SSSSTOOP P: here comes the tears…
D:: …DRAWING ME IN THE WINNIE THE POOH UNIVERSE “to build a home starts playing* P: ..you’re remembering me cause I died! D: HAHA HA HAH D: WHY AM I LAUGHING
P why do I always die?? D: please guys D: stop killing Phil in your fiction!
P: yeah P: …kill Dan for once!
D: ok? it’s my turn *they both kill Phil in their fics* P: wooOW, that’s aamazing!
D: that- D: that’s actually incredible D: I love that, like-honestly… D: when I see things like this, I’m like… D: i-i don’t deserve to have inspired P: no
D: Like, what is it about me D: …that’s inspired someone to make something that good? D: whAT THE HECK IS THAT OH MY G- P: nooO
D: ITS YOUR TONGUE D:FROM THE BLACK ICE CREAM
P: whAt- P: What’s with all the tongues today?? D: I was like, is that some like, camel part or something? D: …what is it?
P: it does look like… P: …a camel part P: I just wanna eat my screen right now! D: HOLY CRAP D: Did they bAKe the whiskers into the cupcake?? D: WaaaaAAAAA D: Phil-eki!
P: dur dUUUUR D: …you as a cannibal P: I’m actually a ghoul P: Dan and Phil Harry Potter AU! D: Wi- Including young Dan and Phil! P: oh yeah?
D: In the little Philosopher’s Stone period D:…and then, oh D: OH MY GOD THEY’VE GONE ALL THE WAY
P: That’s hilarious D: NO DON’T DIG OUT THE TEEN PHOTOS
P: Wow D: OH MY GOD D: uuaAAAAAAAAHH P: I’d watch it!
D: ssSsSSs P: Would you watch it?? I’d watch it P: What is that?? D: ‘The Dil Howlter rap’? P: WhAt D: ok, this sounds amazing, but after what we’ve seen D: i- i kind of need to end this on a high, Phil
P: yeah.. D: ok, let’s see, juST CLICK JUST CLICK P: THIS IS AMAZING
D: oh my gOd… D: OH-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH D: I’m blockin out the…oh my gOSH D: They’re funnier than us, Phil! Pl: I know…
D: More talented and creative… P: wow… D: Should they just replace our channel? P: I think so, yeah
D: Yeah yeah, I think so D: This is the next in line, guys P: yep…
D: right here D: AaronCello D: And that, Phil… D:…is an awesome note to end it on! P: Yes!
D: Do that before we go back to any more… D:…bondage arts.
P: Okay! P: So thank you to anyone that submitted something to the tag!
D: Yes D: As always, yknow D: We make these videos, just to show our appreciation D: …of how awesome you guys are!
P: Yes D: You know that we think you are the funniest guys D:…and the best audience in the entire world! D: And this is just to appreciate your… D: …creativity… D: Let’s just…call it that P: Yeah! and speaking of creativity… D: What? oh, really? D: really? that was your segway, into that?
P: yeAH! D: sure, fine D: we are kind of… D:…freaking out! –
phil: yeah! –
D:…if we’re being honest with you P: I can’t believe it’s real, it actually smells like a real book
D: i know…. P: give it a sniff… D: h…hph, you want me to sniff the-
P: SNIFF IT! D:*sniiiiiff* it’s a great-smelling book! P: yeah!
D: confirmed… P:and we spent over a year working on this and now it’s here and i’m just like P: ERGH
D: yeah, i-i can’t believe it’s actually real D:and YOU can go to D: …to really easily see where you can get it, RIGHT NOW D: From ANYWHERE in the entire world! D: So make sure you go check that out! D: I’m probably gonna go sit in the corner D:…and rock backwards and forwards and cry for a bit P:…ookAY P: So if you enjoyed this video, please give it a big thumbs up! P: You can click on Dan’s face to subscribe to his channel D: ha ha…as I’m just sniffing my own book, don’t mind me D: I’m not a weirdo… P: …or you can click here to subscribe to me! P: And make sure to check out danandphilbook.com if you wanna get our book! D: and thank you all for watching this video D: I hope you’re all having a wonderful life P: yes!
D: great people Both: Goodbye!